Friday, July 10, 2009

Follow Friday

Jean Bauhaus is great writer and even better friend. She's been instrumental in helping me develop Curse/Or, so it's only right that I return the favor.

You all NEED to go here and read the first few installments of her e-novel, This Old Haunt.

Synopsis:
Ron Wilson wakes up dead and discovers she's in for the fight of her life. A paranormal investigator in life, Ron was setting up for a ghost hunt in the spookiest house in town when she found herself the one being hunted. Now she's trapped in the house along with a bevy of other ghosts -- including an axe-murderess and the family she killed, an old man who just wants to go be with his wife, and a handsome handyman whose past seems more haunted and mysterious than the house they're imprisoned in -- all of them victims of a malevolent, murderous spirit. Refusing to accept this as her afterlife, Ron rallies the other ghosts to gang up on their captor and fight for their freedom. But how does a ghost fight a monster who can devour souls--especially when that monster has red pigtails and freckles and is cute as a button?
Why are you still here? GO!

Probably no post today

Because I am crafting my proposal to McSweeny's Internet Tendency to be one of their new columnists. The deadline is today.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The final elements (Z Kit)

For those following along at home, your Z Kit is almost complete. You've included all the essential components, and the only things which remain fall into two categories:
  1. Stuff you've forgotten
  2. Stuff which is nice but not really necessary
An example of #1 is a set of disposable face masks. I'm not going to start any arguments by claiming that N95 face masks will keep you from getting the flu, but I know two things. One, it's better to have some protection rather than none at all, even if all the mask does is keep people away from you and remind you not to touch your face with your fingers; and Two, in many disasters there's a lot of crap in the air, be it smoke, dust, ash, chemical vapors etc that you don't need to be breathing.

(I just now realized, in the course of writing this, that I also need some kind of eye protection as well. So I'm going to raid my college trunk for old chemistry supplies, like safety glasses and an apron.)

Keeping a Z Kit current is an ongoing task, which is why I consider it a hobby. Whenever I enter a store I always browse with the thought of "would any of this be useful in my bag?" That's how a roll of industrial-strength all-weather duct tape and a spool of 100' of kitchen twine ended up in my bag.

Other stuff to consider:
  • Pens/pencils and pocket moleskine notebook
  • Tape measure
  • Scissors
  • Earplugs
  • Wind-up watch or travel clock, preferably with an alarm
  • 1 Liter Nalgene water bottle (you can stuff other crap inside it when not in use)
Things which fall under category #2 are what you call "gadgetry." It might be expensive, like a handheld GPS unit or satellite phone, or it could be as simple as a cell phone or MP3 player. I consider these items luxuries, as they aren't necessary for saving your life but they do make it much more bearable. Almost all of these things are electronic in some way, so either carry batteries for them (and you know my thoughts on that) or have some alternate way to charge them (if I had the cash I would buy a Freeloader Solar Power Charger in a heartbeat).

If you do end up carrying electronic gizmos, you need to protect them. I recommend the Lifeline Waterproof Case because for $5 you get a tough, locking plastic case inside which you can fit a cell phone or iPod. I found mine in the automotive section of Target.

The other doohickey I have is a Tasco 10x25 Monocular, which I got for $10 and free shipping. Woot! If you have the room or don't like squinting with one eye, you can get the binocular version for $20.

And that's it! You now have a perfectly functional Z Kit, which you can take everywhere you go so that you'll be ready for disaster at a moment's notice. I look forward to seeing your version of the kit and any ideas or suggestions for improvement you may have. Also, if you see a nifty gadget that simply screams "Z Kit!" I must know about it.

Don't let the zombies getcha!



As a postscript, is there sufficient interest for me to post a series of pictures showing how my bag is packed and what goes where? There is an art to packing it so as to maximize space and (perhaps more importantly) optimize weight distribution.

Wednesday Night Warfare (Special late-breaking Thursday edition)

The war correspondents of the PNN (Palette Network News) have only just now returned from the debriefing to give you this critical piece of battlefield intelligence:



Holy crap! What was that? Can we get a closer look?



It... it appears to be a giant robot!



Wait... comm service has just been restored... we are now receiving this live from the war zone:




... there are no words.

Well, maybe "awesome!"

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Useful Tools (Z Kit)

If you have been building your Z Kit along with this series, take heart in the fact that it is nearly complete! And if you are sick and tired of this series, rejoice that it is nearly over! Only two categories remain for discussion, and today we shall cover "Useful tools."

Most of what goes under this category is what you'd find in a camping store. The rules for these are simple:
  1. Lightweight
  2. Slim/small form factor
  3. Effective/durable
  4. Inexpensive without being cheap
  5. Preferably multi-function
This last point is important, because a good multi-function tool by its very nature encompasses numbers one and two due to a high use-to-mass ration. A bad multi-tool is usually ineffective and cheap, despite also being light and small. Be wary of what you buy and test everything as if your life depended on it.

Here is an excellent example from my own experience. In earlier posts I had mentioned that I was worried the Emergency Pro 4-in-1 was a little too fragile for my purposes. Some basic testing proved this to be the case (not at all water-resistant, easily breakable plastic shell) so I re-thought my priorities, went shopping, and ended up with the Eton Microlink FR150:


Larger than a cigarette pack and smaller than a paperback book, the FR150 is definitely small and lightweight. It also feels very durable, as it is covered with a black rubberized coating. I wouldn't call it waterproof, but it's definitely safe to take out into the rain. There is even a water/dust cover for the headphone jack and recharging outlets.

The flashlight is very bright and has better range than I expected from an LED. The two features I like most, though, are the solar panel on top (laziness for the win!) and ability for the radio to pick up Weather Band. Since I live in a state regularly beset by hurricanes, tornadoes, and wildfires, this is very very useful for any sort of bug-out scenario.

The FR150 does have two drawbacks however, minor though they are. First, its blocky nature makes it kind of awkward to hold as a flashlight (though the attached wrist strap helps with this because I don't have to grip it so much as just carry it). The second is that it doesn't come with a cell-phone adapter; you have to send in a card specifying what kind of phone you have and they'll send you the right adapter. I was fortunate in that I could use the adapters that came with the Emergency Pro, so no worries for me.

Let's review:
  1. Lightweight: YES
  2. Slim/small form factor: YES
  3. Effective/durable: YES. This has the American Red Cross seal of approval.
  4. Inexpensive without being cheap: YES. You can buy them for $24.99 from Thinkgeek.
  5. Preferably multi-function: YES
With these rules in mind, let's go over some other tools you will find useful.

Compass: Some people/places will try to sell you on a Lensatic compass with a bevel this and azimuth that, but unless you're in the army, all you need from a compass is that it tells you where North is and that it's easy to read and follow. Everything else is useless weight. (However, you need a map of some kind to go with it or it's all but useless. I have a roadmap of the entire East Coast in my kit.) My compass has a magnifying glass over the lens and a built-in light which illuminates the dial. I also have one that's built into a zipper pull along with a thermometer. To that I have tied a...

Whistle: Excellent for signalling distress or getting a taxi. Also, it's easier to blow a whistle than shout. Make sure you get one that's Coast Guard approved, like a Fox 40. If it's really good it will be sold in a bundle with a...

Signal Mirror: Make sure you get one that says Star Flash, because they're aimable, they float, and they're damn hard to break. If you aren't using this to signal for help, it can help with basic grooming or very rudimentary cooking/fire-starting.

Wire Saw: Again, don't get the cheap imported crap. Get one that's NATO approved, like the BCB Commando saw. You can use it as a wrap-around saw, or tie it to a frame and make a bowsaw. It also makes a pretty nifty industrial-goth necklace when tied together (no kidding, I've worn this to clubs and it makes quite an impression. Just make sure there's some protection for your neck.)

Folding Trowel: You won't be digging any trenches with this, but it's great for digging up roots, bait worms, or even an emergency latrine. It's also tiny when folded (about the size of my hand.)

Leatherman: Forget the Swiss Army Knife, this is the serious multi-tool handymen swear by. There are dozens of colors, sizes, styles, and configurations. When you're picking out yours, don't think too hard on the comparison that this is what women think of when they're shopping for shoes.

Knife sharpeners: You need to keep your blades honed, after all. I prefer Smith's Sharpeners -- a Two Step for my regular knives (it's small and idiot-proof) and an Edge  Eater for my kukri machete.

And finally, don't forget 50 to 100 feet of 550 paracord. Light, strong, and you can cut it apart and separate the strands for smaller jobs (fishing lines, shoelaces, etc.)

Have I forgotten something? Probably. Leave a comment and let me know!

EDIT: Of course I forgot something. You'll need something to whack other things with, and a prybar of some kind. An 8 ounce stubby claw hammer solves both of those problems, though if you have a gas valve at home the On Duty 4-in-1 Emergency Shutoff Tool might be a better choice.

Friday, July 3, 2009

The Med Kit (Z Kit)

Even though it wasn't first on the list in terms of survival importance, don't be fooled: the medical portion of your Z Kit is its centerpiece. You will spend more time and money on it than on anything else, and it is important that you do not stint in this regard. When you need this bad boy, you really really need it.

What's good about this is that it is also the most justifiable expenditure of the whole thing. People may look at you funny for having a portable stove and a survival blanket in your pack, but no one ever sees a first aid kit and has paranoid thoughts. (Bone saws are another matter entirely.) Best of all, this is something you will use even if the dead don't rise from their graves and hunger for the flesh of the living. Accidents happen, and now you're prepared for them. It is for this reason, and the aforementioned good impression, that your medical kit be at the very top of your pack.

First we start with the basics. I suggest a prepackaged kit with as many pieces as you can afford. I use the 299-piece All-Purpose First Aid Kit from First Aid Only. $24.99, but I got it on sale for half price (score!) at my local Target. (FYI, this case is about the size of a hardcover book.)


  • (75) 3/4"x3" Adhesive plastic bandages
  • (20) 3/4"x3" Fabric bandages
  • (30) 1"x3" Adhesive plastic bandages
  • (10) 1"x3" Fabric bandages
  • (4) Knuckle fabric bandages
  • (4) Fingertip fabric bandages
  • (2) 2"x4" Elbow & knee plastic bandages
  • (50) 3/8"x1-1/2" Junior plastic bandages
  • (1) 1-1/2"x1-1/2" Patch plastic bandage
  • (3) Butterfly wound closures
  • (6) 2"x2" Gauze dressing pads
  • (4) 3"x3" Gauze dressing pads
  • (2) 4"x4" Gauze dressing pads
  • (1) 5"x9" Trauma pad
  • (1) 2" Conforming gauze roll bandage
  • (6) Aspirin tablets
  • (6) Ibuprofen tablets
  • (6) Extra-strength non-aspirin tablets
  • (14) Alcohol cleansing pads
  • (15) Antiseptic cleansing wipes (sting free)
  • (6) Antibiotic ointment packs
  • (2) First aid/burn cream packs
  • (3) Insect sting relief pads
  • (2) 1/2"x5 yd. First aid tape roll
  • (1) 4"x5" Instant cold compress
  • (1) Burn relief pack, 3.5 gm.
  • (1) Sterile eye pad
  • (1) Emergency blanket
  • (3) 2"x2" Moleskin squares
  • (1) Thermometer, one time use
  • (10) 3" Cotton tipped applicators
  • (2) 6"x11/16" Finger splint
  • (2) Exam quality vinyl gloves
  • (1) 4-1/2" Scissors, nickel plated
  • (1) 4" Tweezers, plastic
  • (1) 40 pg. First aid guide

This is a good start, but it's by no means complete. This is my version of the above kit, as it stands now:

Most of the items shown actually store within zippered case. Bulkier items pack next to it.

Starting from top left corner:
  • 299 Piece First Aid Kit, open
  • Ace bandage with velcro closure
  • Elastic thigh strap (from here) to be used as bandage tie or tourniquet
  • Plastic case containing two Kotex pads
  • Waterproof match container, now re-purposed as a pill box (currently holding Maalox, Advil, and Claritin)
  • Water purification tablets (2 piece)
  • Prescription Meperidine left over from my last Kidney Stone
  • Advil PM (sleeping pills, basically)
  • Lamisil foot anti-fungal ointment (aren't you happy to know these intimate details about me?)
  • Super Glue with applicator (cannibalized from a sewing kit)
  • Insect repellent
  • Insect bite/Poison Ivy sting relief
  • Blistex
  • SPF 70 Sunblock
  • Hand Sanitizer
  • Needles and thread, from aforementioned sewing kit
  • Specialty needles
  • New Skin liquid bandage
  • Antibiotic ointment with painkiller
  • Precision tweezers, slant and point tip
  • 10 safety pins
  • Trauma Bandage
  • Snakebite venom extractor
  • Derma-Safe utility knife and saw
  • Bandage scissors (the blunt-tipped kind that can cut through a penny)
  • Eyeglass repair kit
Not shown but still useful and in my bag:
  • Travel toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Dental floss
  • Pack of Q-tips
  • Fingernail clippers

What's ironic is that, in the course of writing this, I realized that I had forgotten something: powder to keep my feet dry. Wet feet are miserable and can lead to all sorts of fun infections (I speak from personal experience here).

I'm almost certain I've forgotten something just as crucial. If you think of it, please let me know!

The Fine Print


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Creative Commons License


Erin Palette is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.