Friday, March 30, 2018

Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?

That's all I can hear. 

I'd like to share a little detail about myself: I was not raised in a religious environment. I think the closest was that one of my Irish grandparents forbade me from being raised Catholic. One of the Catholic grandparents, I believe. As a result, I was raised around very little religious influence and did not attend a church with any regularity until I was in high school, at which point a tall, freckled ginger invited me to go to her youth group meetings with her.

I feel, in the long run, I may have been a bad influence on her. She's since gone on to marry the school's most intense metal-head and had a couple of offspring with him.

I was ejected from this congregation after nearly a year of asking too many questions and bringing in other people who asked too many questions. I have a tendency to ask difficult questions, and as I've grown, the language and placement of my questions have been refined to the point where they can be boiled down to "Is it, though?"

This approach to life not only leads to interesting answers, but to conflict as well. Such as every time a white dude commits a crime, and the inevitable progressive cry of "It's terrorism" goes up and I'm compelled to ask "Is it, though?"

I've always preferred ballistics to energy
The most entertaining train of thought that I've heard recently has been regarding the Parkland students that have had their smug teenage faces plastered over every Left-leaning news outlet: "Just when I thought ______ couldn't go any lower, they stoop to making fun of children."

Well, I'm not exactly who you're aiming at, but yes, I would stoop to making fun of children.

I can't stand children. But above all that, I used to be one. I used to be a snotty, idealistic little brat that wanted to be the hero of my own story, and then after attending a high school in Alabama and being a freaky little goth kid at said school, very nearly becoming a headline myself in one of these stories. I remember how emotionally charged and how uneducated about the world I was, so I will absolutely make fun of children, and most importantly, why do you sound like Helen goddamn Lovejoy? Why have you spent the last few decades laughing at anyone who said "Won't somebody think of the children" just to turn around and say the exact thing the moment there's some children who got on CNN and said exactly what you wanted to hear?

But no, I don't think they're 'crisis actors.' I don't think they're just doing it for attention, but damn if they didn't get attention; Emma Gonzalez and David The Hogg are gonna have a career in front of them. Did you know Emma has her own article in Teen Vogue discussing her hair, or lack thereof?

Did you know that David Hogg has been featured heavily for attacking advertisers, supporters, or even companies that have discounts with the NRA?(Wait, hang on, that link may have been wrong. My bad.)

I will not stop saying that Gonzalez looks like a Fallout character.

I will not stop pointing out the irony of her wearing a Cuban patch on her coat.

I will not stop saying that Hogg looks like a special effect, or that he and his sister's armband gambit was hilarious.

I'm not sure whether to make a sandwich joke, a fascism joke, or an American Psycho joke.

These are kids who got thrust into the spotlight and ran with it. They're public figures now, subject to criticism and ridicule. If you don't want them to face that, then don't promote them.

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