Interviewed by Tom Foss

Deep within his Fortress of Soliloquy, Tom Foss caught a virulent and fatal Internet Meme. In order to recover, he had to ask me five questions. I, in my costumed identity of "Unpalettable", did the heroic thing and consented to the interview to save his life.


1. Who's the most egregiously sexist female character in the history of comics?

Janet van Dyne, aka the Wasp. From her "Teehee, I'm a girl, I go powder my nose while boys fight over me" attitude in the 60s to her "I'm gonna change costumes every adventure" of the 70s to her "I'm gonna flirt with Magneto during the Secret War to get him to do what I like cuz math is hard" in the 80s to GODDAMMIT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! She's like the Paris Hilton of the superhero set, and her very presence vexes and diminishes me.

2. If you could resurrect one dead author to write one comic title, who would it be, and what series?

Um. ANY dead author, not just comic books? "H.P. Lovecraft, writing Hellblazer" is my immediate choice, but I'm not sure how well Lovecraft could portray Constantine. Perhaps Robert Anton Wilson writing Ambush Bug? Yeah, I like that.

3. Assuming you have to write it, what one book out of all literary history would you pick to write the sequel for?

This is probably gonna get me in trouble, but my answer is "The Bible" and I mean that with complete and utter respect for it as a holy text. I mean, the Book of Revelations alone is full of powerful symbolism and it has a kick-ass storyline.

Also, if I get to write the sequel, that means I'm there, man, for what happens next. Yeah, I know that means I'm more of a reporter than an inventor of the story, but I get to know. And then I get to put all of that awesome into words so powerful that people thousands of years later are still moved by them.

4. You've got a single 5-issue arc on Justice League of America. What's your pitch?

"Cult of the Superhero." Seriously, tackle how people's belief systems would adapt to what are essentially godlings in our midst.

The "Superman as Christ" motif has be thesis'd to death, so why not use it in a story? What would happen if people actually started praying to Superman? How would he react to that?

Wonder Woman is a pagan, and lives on an island full of women. The wiccan and/or lesbian overtones that can be explored here are fascinating.

Green Lantern's ring can do anything. Why isn't he in hospitals, healing people like a good savior?

Batman is a creature of the dark, and uses terror and cunning to defeat his foes. Sounds positively Luciferian to me...

So not really an overall story arc; more like 5 self-contained stories that are linked by exploring these similar themes.

5. When you read Batman's dialogue, whose voice is speaking the lines in your head?

Kevin Conroy, the man who voiced Bats in Batman: the Animated Series.