A Eulogy For A Departed Friend

Friends, Occultists, Con-men, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Constantine, not to praise him. 

The evil that man does lives after him;

While the good is interred with his series;

So let it be with Constantine. The noble NBC
hath told you Constantine was unpopular;

If it were so, would it have grevious ratings shown

And grievously hath Constantine answer'd it.

Here, under leave of NBC and the rest --
For NBC is an honourable network;

So are they all, all honourable networks --

Come I to speak in Constantine's funeral.

He was my friend, fauthful and true to source material;
But NBC says he was unpopular;

And NBC is an honourable network.

Constantine brought few ratings home to NBC

Whose ransoms those coffers failed to fill:

Did this in Constantine seem unpopular?

When that the fans have cried, Constantine hath wept:
Series should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet NBC says he was unpopular;

And NBC is an honourable network.

You all did see that on Facebook

I many times shared praising status updates,
Which gathered many a like: Was this unpopular?

Yet NBC says he was unpopular;

And, sure, it is an honourable network.

I speak not to disprove what NBC spoke,

But I am here to speak what I do know.

You all saw the promise, not without cause;

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgement! Thou art fled to low-brow sitcoms

And studio execs have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heart is on the cutting room floor there with Constantine,

And I must pause till it come back to me.

My sincerest apologies for butchering the metric of The Bard. Season 1 always sucks and gets low ratings, NBC;, seriously, you could have given it another 13 episodes for it to grow. 

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Erin

"Hey Erin, come over here a minute, I need your opinion on something."

"Yeah, Sal? What's up?"

"This smell like chloroform to you?"

*ka-whump*

"She'll be ok in a few hours.."

Sorry to hijack the blog, but I've got a very important message.

Constantine, the entire first (and possibly only) series is available for streaming for free on NBC's website.

There's been a bit of back and forth on whether or not the series will be renewed, but allegedly if NBC gets good numbers on streaming between their website, Hulu, and some other service I can't be arsed to remember at the moment, they'll take that into consideration when it comes time to make a decision on renewing the series. This is your chance to do your part if you want to see a good adaptation continue. Yeah, it got off to a rocky start, but the first season always sucks (unless you're The Flash, apparently), and Matt Ryan deserves to keep playing Constantine so damned well.

If you've already seen it, put it on in the background while you clean house or have dirty sex or summon otherwordly entities or something. If you haven't seen it, you really should.