Transformers ROTF: An Executive Summary

I'd like to point out that I didn't write this summary. I can be found here, as comment #24, written by "Louis".

So, you remember the thingie from the first movie? Well, now its been blows up into lots of little thingies but they just makes the guy go Woo Woo Woo and then the robots who falls down last time get up and make the things BOOM and then girl had the panties and she messed up the room and then big growly bear grabbed the guy but OPTIMUS PRIME fight him and then he fall down and that was sad but now the guy is trouble so he and the peoples go there and they talks about the new thing with the new big thing guy and they runs to the place with the mummy and they find the thing but all the blow ups wrecks the thing but they didn’t really wreck it and they push the button and OPTIMUS PRIME doesn’t fall down no more and punches the ugly and they win.

Sir, I tip my hat to you.

My Christmas Experience, Summarized

I survived.

Good riddance to 2008.

Remember: only 354 more shopping days until Christmas 2009!

Executive Summary Movie Reviews

Blargh.

I've been meaning to do these reviews since last weekend, but... well, middles of the month are hard for me. I'm tired all the time, cranky, frequently depressed... sucks all around.

But I owe you guys a blog entry. Therefore, you get my patented Executive Summaries for two movies. Yarr, here there be spoilers and suchlike.

The Mist: A tersely-plotted story of survival horror which ends with a gigantic "Fuck you!" to both the main character and the entire audience. If you are depressive, do not see this movie. The ending acted as a trigger for me. I didn't want to drive home feeling like shit, so I went into another theater and saw...

The Golden Compass: I wanted to like this movie, but it is pure marzipan: all surface and no substance. It's exceptionally pretty, and the fight scenes are excellent, but not even the presence of Sam Elliott as a balloonist cowboy and Sir Ian McKellen as a talking, armor-clad polar bear can save this movie. It's not bad; it's just "meh". It's also obvious that the book it was based upon was gutted by Hollywood to make it more accessible to the general public.

Executive Summary: Don't bother seeing either of these.

The Week: An Executive Summary

Monday: Felt like shit.

Tuesday: Spent entire day at courthouse for jury selection, only to be told to go home at 5:30.

Wednesday: Tried to make up for missing Monday & Tuesday.

Thursday: Exhausted. Don't feel like doing anything but vegging.

Friday: Wake up at 7:30 am with the bastard child of a migraine and a sinus headache. Go back to bed at 8:30. Finally achieve some measure of respite around noon. Sleep until 7 pm.

Now: Head doesn't hurt any more, but I feel like I've been wrung out like a towel.

Executive Summary Monday

Chuck: Still funny.

Heroes: Much better now that Peter is back.

Journeyman: Beginning to grow on me.

Witch Children Story: Much longer than expected.

Will be done: When it's done.

Palette: adopting Rikti speech pattern.

Sign of: brains going soft.

Will be back: tomorrow.

Stay: tuned.