Thursday, January 21, 2016

Indistinguishable from Reality

Poe's Law, coined back in 2005, indicates that parodies of extreme views, without a clear indicator of satire, will be mistaken easily for actual extreme views. Several sites, from Landover Baptist Church to The Onion and its gloriously relevant sister site Clickhole, have made a name for themselves in posting news stories that others have taken and run with as absolute proof for whatever argument they've wanted to push. It's become a cottage industry for giving people enough rope to hang themselves, as well as countless hours of entertainment.

In the inverse of the law, extreme views can easily become indistinguishable from satire or parody.

For example
It is with this, today, that I bring you a glorious piece of... I honestly can't tell. It might be satire. It might not be. Given that MTV's YouTube channel also houses the Problematic Laci Green's Braless series, it's more than likely that they're being quite sincere about this. Just see it for yourselves.



I really have nothing else to add to this discussion.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

WNW: This is a Triumph

The starter on my increasingly raggedy coup is failing, so I need to spend money I don't really have to get a new one -- fortunately, my buddy Chaplain Tim found me one for less than $100, and I have another friend who says he's willing to help me install it.

So what was looking like a shitty situation has been resolved into merely bad. Thank God I have friends.

And now, let's enjoy the lighter side of the automotive industry with this Triumph Motorcycle advert done in the style of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.


I particularly like how the motorcycle was watching Blackadder Goes Forth. An excellent comedy, that.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Traveller Tuesday: Sand

The past two game sessions in my Traveller campaign were a playtest of aspects of the new 2e space combat system, crossed with some house rules. And like what always happens when I meet a rules system, I found that some things didn't make sense, so I've decided to change them -- either for verisimilitude or for game balance.

This is probably going to part of a series on Space Combat.
My use of Traveller setting and dress falls under
fair use guidelines for both Mongoose and Far Future Enterprises.
Range
The very first thing that I did was to change the range and range modifiers to sandcasters. Instead of having a maximum range of Short (up to 1250 km, which just seems really excessive for what is essentially a "space depth charge"), their maximum range is now Close. However, the no longer have a range penalty for being used at Adjacent range, which is helpful when using Pebble rounds to shoot at boarders or missiles that got past point defense.

Implementation
The rules-as-written way to use sand is as a reaction -- your sensors indicate the enemy is powering up a beam weapon and you fire sand to intercept. And this is fine if there's a specific attack you really, REALLY want to block.

But I also think you ought to be able to put up sand as a preemptive barrier between you and your enemy. If that's the case, then your Gunner (Turrets) skill roll becomes the number to hit your ship; otherwise they hit your sand cloud instead. I've been running it this way for a while, but I figured it ought to be written down.

Blocking
Sand clouds last for one turn. If they are hit, they ablate/vaporize; it they are not hit, they drift apart from the initial canister detonation that causes their spread.

There has been much discussion about whether or not sand should block plasma, fusion, and particle beams. After going back and forth on it, and talking about what I want from it vs. how the various beams work, I have come to the following conclusion:
  • Sand reduces laser beams at full strength (1d6)
  • Plasma and fusion beams are reduced at half strength (1d3)
  • Particle beams are reduced at one-quarter strength (1d2)
A hit by any of these weapons that penetrates it will clear a hole through the cloud, effectively dispersing it. This qualification is necessary, because a triple sandcaster throws out what is essentially a 3d6 cloud, so a cloud with maximum effectiveness (18) will not be cleared away by a strike from a minimum-strength (3) particle beam.

Chaff
I also feel that sand is more than just "sand". Given the way sandcutter rounds work (using electromagnets to disperse sand clouds), it's obvious that sand is metallic and magnetic in some manner, which means it ought to have a radar cross-section. This sounds an awful lot like chaff, which is under-represented in the game anyway.

I like the notion that defensive sand, in addition to acting as a light absorber, also works to block sensors -- most of which are light-based -- and to confuse the sensors (also light-based) of smart missiles.
  • Sensor Baffling: A sand cloud which has not dispersed acts as a diffuse shield against EM sensors. The effect of the Gunner (Turret) roll acts as a DM against all sensor checks across the cloud. Sand can be used in this manner to break sensor locks. However, this works in both directions -- a cloud your enemy can't see through is one you can't see through, either, unless you have better sensors. 
  • Missile Blocking:  A non-dispersed sand cloud affects the sensors of all missiles. "Dumb" missiles shot on a straight ballistic course are not affected. (More on those missiles in a follow-up post.)
Shooting Down Missiles
http://orbitaldebris.jsc.nasa.gov/protect/impacts.html
Hiding on p.50 of Mongoose High Guard is the note that sand canisters can be used to shoot down missiles, if said missile has been launched from at least medium range. I interpret that to mean "If the missile will hit in the same turn that it's launched you can't shoot it down with sand, but if there's a delay of a least one round, you can intercept it."

And since most of us have seen what a paint flake traveling at orbital velocity did to a space shuttle window, you can imagine what a shotgun-like spread of metallic sand will do to a missile -- especially when you add the velocity of the missile and the intercepting sand particles.

Your Objections Anticipated
Some of you are no doubt saying, "But Erin! Haven't you just combined Sand, Pebble and Chaff into a single canister?"

Indeed I have. Sand is neat stuff.

And I'm pretty sure I've shown how I reached that conclusion: chaff is metallic, and sand is metallic or else it wouldn't be affected by sandcutters; ergo, it likely has offensive uses. And since I've shortened the rage of sand cannisters to Close and the difference between sand and pebble is 1 point vs 1-3 points of damage, I feel this is not unbalancing.

You are, of course, free to argue.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Gunnies Helping Gunnies: Mark Alger

The Smallest Minority has the details, but the short version is that fellow gunnie and friend of the blog Mark Alger was laid off two weeks before Christmas and needs an emergency cash infusion that can tide him over until the royalties from his second novel come in.

He's a good guy. Slip him some dosh. Or buy his first novel, The High T Shebang, on Kindle for just $2.99!

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #74

http://tinyurl.com/nmwoenx
Adam is getting better from his extended illness while Sean is getting sicker.
  • Erin Palette tells us about bartering.
  • Nicki Kenyon explains how the Cologne, Germany open air rape attacks will affect the future of European refugees.
  • Barron B gives us some tips on how to avoid pop ups, adware, and malware.
  • And Weer'd starts a multi-week series on President Obama's very bad, no good time at CNN's Town Hall.
Thanks for downloading, listening, and subscribing. Please like and share The GunBlog VarietyCast on Facebook, and if you use iTunes, give us a review!
Listen to the podcast here.
Read the show notes here.
A special thanks both to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support and to our sponsor,Law of Self Defense. Use discount code "Variety" at checkout and get 10% off.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

What a Week, Am I Right?

I'm turning off the nerd reviews and social criticism criticism for a few minutes here, everyone. I had a piece that I was going to do on class and money privilege being the overriding factor in most situations, and had a great example of it, but that's... that's not happening this week. This week we reflect and remember.

They say death visits us in threes, and it's always three beloved figures of pop culture that are taken from us at a time. Granted, that's merely a superstition at best, and I try my hardest to stay away from superstition, but this week it feels more real than ever. Within the space of a little over two weeks, Lemmy Kilmister, David Bowie, and Alan Rickman were taken from us by cancer, and it hardly feels real to write that.
To say that these men had a good run is an understantement. Lemmy and Bowie were both legends in their fields and easily identifiable outside. Rickman has been in at least one film that everyone's seen, whether it's Harry Potter, Dogma, or Die Hard, and is the face of several memes including the legendary table flip.

Lemmy: I really wasn't a fan of Motorhead, but Ace of Spades was a good song, and your influence on the rest of rock music has been invaluable. You've made a huge mark on any form of music that uses a guitar, and I hope you knew that before you passed. You were a stubborn old bastard, one that we thought would probably never die given what you put yourself through and survived, but I hope you feel like you didn't die with work left undone.

Bowie: I was first introduced to you, like many people, through your appearance in Labyrinth. It may have been my first real exposure (not having seen Rocky Horror until years later) to something so subversive as the Goblin King. You were beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Powerful and charismatic and cruel and something I was unable to look away from, the Goblin King was in many ways an aspect of the faces you showed to the rest of the world. I'm rewatching BBC's Life on Mars this week in tribute to you and the era that you grew in, and Little Wonder is probably one of my favourite all-time songs. Your influence was felt, and will be felt, everywhere.

Rickman: Despite your trademark sneer and singularly distinctive voice, you were truly a comedian. There are, surprisingly, a lot of people that will say "Who?" if you mention your name, but that's not because they haven't seen you; it's because you were so good at your craft. I have to admit that I honestly don't know if I've ever seen Die Hard all the way through (never a fan of Christmas, I prefer New Years and Ghostbusters II to Christmas and Die Hard) but I'll make sure to give it a watch now. Instead, my first exposure was probably the spoon scene from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and that sticks with someone. I hadn't seen a Harry Potter film until the series was done, but I knew something was off with Snape, that he wasn't *just* a badguy. And no one played the world-weary, heavily annoyed angel better than your Metatron in Dogma. But above all else, we science fiction fans will always remember and love you for Marvin the Paranoid Android.

Gentlemen, you'll be missed, but on the off-chance that you can still hear what's going on here, please know that you made a mark. A huge, indelible mark. I salute all three of you.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Erin Palette: the Quest for a Social Life

I'm trying to convince myself I should do something, but I'm dragging my heels -- probably due to insecurity. That heel-dragging is why I haven't posted anything the last two Mondays; I've been working myself up to write this. Then last night, I hit a low point and just spewed out a lot of angst to a select group of Facebook friends.

These friends, bless them, encourage and uplift me, and have convinced me I need to say "Fuck this noise" to my anxieties and embarrassment and just put it all out there.

I don't know if I'll be able to get it all out in one post. I am a rather complex individual, and I have a lot of history and a lot of baggage, so this might take several post to get myself fully explained. I'm going to try, though, as understanding who I am and why I do things is critical for the goal I have set for myself in 2016.

Background Info
So, first things first, let me link back to some of my previous soul-baring posts, because if you haven't read them you're really going to be confused.
All those ought to give you a basic understanding of me and my situation.

My Problem
It has been years since I had a date. It's been far longer since I've had sex. I am really, REALLY lonely, and I don't know how to fix that situation.

Part of it is because I don't know how to "sell" myself. I suck at writing resumes for the same reason I suck at writing dating profiles: all I see are my flaws and deficiencies and I don't know how to gloss over them and emphasize the good parts. (I.E. "I wouldn't fuck me, so why would anyone else want to?")

Another part of it is because of my physical condition. I can't pass for female without a LOT of work, and conditions here don't allow for that. So I'm locked into looking male for the foreseeable future. Which isn't too terrible in and of itself because I am biologically male and am looking for women who like that sort of thing. But the problem lies in how to address the elephant in the room: if I am honest about it early on then I scare them away, and if I wait until we are solid then I'm accused of lying to them or worse. And dating sites don't really have a category for "Boygirl seeks bisexual* woman."

* Why bi? Because I have a woman's brain with a man's plumbing. I figure a gal who likes both is more likely to accept me than a straight woman will.

Finally, my home life is an issue. I'm not independent, and that SHAMES me. I am so embarrassed about it that all I can see is "I am a loser" instead of all the good things that I can bring to a relationship. And I do know that I can bring excellent and amazing things to a relationship:
  • I am kind, loving, attentive, and thoughtful.
  • I communicate well. 
  • I think like a woman. Seriously, this is of benefit here: how many women have said "Why doesn't my boyfriend/husband get it?" I guarantee you that I am far more likely to understand your point of view than the average man will, if for no other reason than because I endlessly analyze things. 
  • I don't do stupid machismo bullshit. 
  • I am sensitive to the feelings of others. 
  • I like to cuddle. 
  • I am extremely protective of my loved ones (and if you've seen the guns I own and the targets I've shot, you know I'm not a slouch with using them).
  • I am exceptionally family-oriented (see my current living situation), which means I will be incredibly loyal. I don't cheat, EVER, and I put great stock in fidelity. 
  • I'm great with animals. I don't know how I am around kids because I don't normally hang out with them, but if they're anything like puppies then I can handle them. 
  • This probably isn't a selling point, but it's true: I have such a shitty self-image that I will literally be grateful that someone actually manages to find me attractive. 
But despite all those qualities (and however many more I have forgotten to list), the one thing that bugs me above all others is that I don't have a full-time job (despite the fact that I'm trying to become a published author, and that my familial duties would preclude such a thing anyway) and that I don't live by myself (despite ample evidence that living alone isn't good for me). It keeps chipping away at my self-confidence with a constant "Why would anyone want to date someone who still lives with her parents at her age?"

Fortunately, some of my online friends have offered their opinions, god bless them:
You're not independent but you're interdependent, which is better. Independent people don't need anything from anyone else, so other people don't get to feel needed by them, and personally I'm not terribly attracted to people whose lives wouldn't be substantially different if I weren't there. Interdependence is about giving and taking, paying your debts, and sharing the load. Interdependence is what holds society together, not independence.

OK, so you don't have your own place - you're taking care of your aged parents even though they drive you crazy. I reckon there's an air of nobility in that.
As much as I like these perspectives and want to agree with them, the bullshit voice in my head that keeps calling me a loser usually drowns them out. I'm trying, though.

Here's How You Can Help 
As my readers are kind, insightful, empathic and intelligent, you have no doubt deduced that I am asking you to help me get a date in 2016. I hate admitting that I need help (see "sign of weakness"), but I'm tired of struggling by myself. 

Let me first head you off at the pass by anticipating some of your comments:
  1. "Try an internet dating site."  Thank you, I've tried them. I even have a better response rate than is usual because I am able to write and put effort into my contact letter. However, these have all been busts because of the following:
    • Not once, not twice, but multiple times I have gotten to the "Hey, let's go out for dinner" stage of online dating, only for my date to mysteriously never show up. I'm just blown off and never contacted again.

      Let me rephrase that: Someone actually decided to give up FREE FOOD rather than have a meal with me.
    • I am quite honestly disgusted with the whole "I am a perfect and rare flower, and if you don't like what you see then you are shallow. Now, you must be at least 6 feet tall, with a full head of hair, not be overweight at all and have a salary in the high five figures before I will give you the time of day" pose that most women on dating sites adopt.
    • As mentioned, I have no idea how to honestly advertise myself. Claiming to be either a gay woman or a straight man seems like a lie of some form, and last I checked most sites don't allow for "Genderqueer lesbian biomale" as one of their options.
  2. "Try Fet Life." Thank you, I've tried that too. FetLife isn't a dating site, it's... some kind of weird sex-themed Facebook kinda thing that requires way too much effort to get past all the people offering me things I don't want.

    What kind of things, Erin? Well, mostly BDSM things. BDSM makes me highly uncomfortable. Like, "I would rather go to the dentist" uncomfortable.

    Put another way, have you ever met a pushy fundie? Or a pushy pagan, for that matter? Where even if they are in your space and making you uncomfortable they still won't fuck off? That is what BDSM is, to me. Everyone is talking about ALL THE GODDAMN TIME and I'm tired of it. I'm to the point where it actively turns me OFF. So please, no more FetLife.
  3. Some variation of "Get over yourself."  Yes, thank you, I am trying to do this. This is, in fact, what I am trying to accomplish with this post and my actions. But just telling me to "Stop sabotaging yourself" is rather like telling a depressed person "Just stop being depressed." Sorry, no, it doesn't work like that. 
Now that's over with, let's get to the final salient points of me begging for help with my social life so my shame will be complete. 

My Type
Smart, sweet and sassy with just a touch of badass. She doesn't need to be a geek or a nerd, although that will definitely help (and give us things to do and talk about); simply being okay with me being a nerdy geeky type is fine. 

We need to have compatible politics. I didn't use to think this was necessary, but as I get older a compatible philosophy becomes increasingly important. (For the record, I am a pro-gun, pro-gay rights, end the drug war and legalize prostitution kind of little-l libertarian). 

Appearance? I'd be lying if I said that a pretty face and stunning body weren't desirable. But I'm far more concerned with mental and social compatibility than I am with sheer physical attraction. So long as there's some form of chemistry, I'm happy... but I know that a lot of folks won't accept that answer as satisfactory, so let me just say this: I've dated plus-sized ladies and I've dated ultra-petite ladies. I've dated within my race and outside it. So long as everything is proportional and works well as an ensemble, I will likely find her attractive.

Oh, yeah... religion. I'm not too picky about this either, but I definitely have some preferences:
  1. Anyone who has a problem with my heritage or ethnicity is definitely right out, as are "All fags go to hell" types. 
  2. I'm also going to eat meat, dammit, so anyone who makes their diet into a religion is also out. 
  3. I generally prefer people who believe in something to people who don't believe in anything
  4. Agnostics are preferable to atheists. 
  5. Atheists need to be not-assholes about it. 
That's about all I can think of at the moment, although I am sure I've forgotten something. So let me turn the conversation over to you , dear reader -- what do you need to know about me to help me find someone willing to date me?

The Fine Print


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Creative Commons License


Erin Palette is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.