Happy New Year, Everypony

https://www.deviantart.com/inuhoshi-to-darkpen/art/End-of-a-Decade-825365600

It's been a hell of a decade, gang.

I'm really going to miss this show.

WNW: My Little Swearing Ponies

For reasons I cannot explain, I find it hysterical when people dub swears onto MLP characters. I cannot explain this because, you, I maintain that these are wholesome children's characters and that is why I hate it when they are sexualized or depicted as injured, dead, or worse. They need to be innocent... and yet, I laugh like a loon when they curse. I can't explain it.

So with that said, let's start off with a classic which I may have posted here once before: Reggie Watts' Fuck Shit Stack dubbed over Fluttershy. Warning! Extremely NSFW Fluttercussing!




But that's just the appetizer, my friends. Now for the main course: actual NSFW bloopers from MLP's final episode! (Which I haven't yet seen, because I'm not yet ready for the series to end.)Let me tell you, Tabitha St. Germain drops some very potent bombs in this clip, and it's hilarious how smoothly such filth trips off Rarity's cultured tongue.




As much as I love Tabitha's "Fuck me [adjective]" lines, I am absolutely enamored of her use of the word "Ballsack!" as a vulgarity.




And as you can see, "millennium" is still giving her problems.




Sweet lord above, I love my fandom.

New (Leaked) MLP Opening Sequence

This was leaked last week, but I only found out about it today. There are probably very mild spoilers here, but since this is the opening sequence all of these was going to be revealed early on anyway.

So let's watch and then obsessively deconstruct it!



The first 12 seconds tell us a LOT:

1. There's a new building next to Twilight's Castle, and it looks kind of like a school.
2. There are a lot of secondary characters getting screen time, like Maude and Vinyl Scratch and Ember and Thorax.
3. Big Mac officially has a girlfriend now (I'm pretty sure that's Sugar Belle).
4. There's a seapony frolicking in the moat, meaning that the events of the MLP Movie are not only canon but are being integrated into the show.
5. Is that a Yak from Yakyakistan coming down the stairs?

[0:13]The big door with the "Twilight Seal" on it seems to confirm the idea that the new building is a school. Perhaps the Mane 6 are teachers there?

[0:16] Pinkie Pie is teaching a class -- Celestia help us -- and the students are VERY diverse as I count a hippogriff, griffon, pony, that yak again, a neu-changeling and what I think is a dragon. 

[0:18] Good to see that Rarity's business is continuing to do well. Hi, Sassy Saddles!

[0:19] Applejack is teaching students to applebuck? I see the griffon, hippogriff, yak and dragon again. 

[0:20] I see that Sweet Feather Sanctuary is doing well. I'm noticing a theme here: all of the girls have succeeded in life. 

[0:23] That looks very much like a class photo, with all the instructors in the front row, Twilight in the center, and Spike holding what looks like a coat of arms and which matches the design on the door. I'm almost positive that Twilight has opened some kind of "Friendship Academy" and the other Mane 6 are going to be teachers there at least part time. 

[0:26] It's about damn time that Luna got a throne of her own!

I confess that I am both intrigued and worried by the "exchange students". Intrigued because it gives the Friendship Academy depth and a "Xavier's School Meets Hogwarts" vibe; worried because the obvious differences between ponies and yaks, dragons, changelings and hippogriffs/seaponies likely means there's going to be a lot of episode time devoted to that... and that's bad only because it feels like our girls are being moved to the back seat while the next generation takes over the show. 

I am cautiously optimistic. There have been times that the show has done things which worried me (Twilight becoming a princess in season 3, the addition of Starlight Glimmer as a regular cast member) but so far the writers haven't screwed up and ruined the show so they get the benefit of the doubt. This season looks awesome; I'm going to have faith that it will in fact be awesome. 

Your Earworm Of The Day

I am quite frankly shocked that it took so long for this to happen.

$10K for 2A

What is 10K for 2A? If you're a regular listener of the GunBlog VarietyCast, you should already know. If you aren't, well, just listen to this clip:

For those readers who don't have the patience to listen to a video, the idea is that Sean wants to attend the Gun Rights Policy Conference 2017 in Dallas, TX but can't afford the cost of the trip. So much like we did last year, where we promised that if folks donated money for the hotel room, plane ticket for Sean and gas money for me that Sean would wear a purple pony shirt for the entirety of the conference, we're doing the same thing -- but on a much larger scale.

By "much larger scale", we mean that if we can raise $10,000 plus trip expenses, then in exchange for attending:

1. Sean will dress as "the love child of Pinkie Pie and the Joker", to use his own words;
2. That $10K will be donated evenly among pro-gun rights organizations. 

So that covers what's in the video. Here are the new and newsworthy developments:

My way to GPRC 2017 is already paid 
Now that I'm Diversity Outreach Coordinator for Florida Carry, they have said they will pay for my flight and hotel room. This means that the expenses have already been reduced.

Your 10K for 2A donation is tax-deductible
Operation Blazing Sword will be accepting the donations, and everything after expenses will be donated to various state and nationwide gun-rights organizations. Because OBS is a 501(c)(3) tax-deductible charity founded to advance gun education and gun rights, it's perfectly legal to donate to us with the understanding that we can donate to other pro-gun right charities and/or nonprofits so long as they aren't PACs or lobby groups. Clearly, OBS is going to keep some of the donations, because it's a pro-gun rights charity, but it won't keep all of it.

Obligatory legal statement: "Funds raised in excess of expenses needed to get Sean Sorrentino to Gun Rights Policy Conference 2017 will be utilized by Operation Blazing Sword to further firearm education and firearm rights, which may include specific national or state-level firearms civil rights organizations, but until we have definitive understandings with those organizations our lawyer advises us to state that Operation Blazing Sword will distribute the funds to one or more reputable and charitable firearms civil-rights organizations as determined by the Operation Blazing Sword Board of Directors.”

Donations can be sent here

• If you wish to donate online, use our PayPal link: paypal.me/OpBlazingSword
• If you wish to send a check, please mail it to
  Operation Blazing Sword, Inc
  800 Belle Terre Parkway 200-302
  Palm Coast, FL 32164

Designate your donations "for 10K for 2A" 

If you don't, we'll just assume this was a standard donation to Operation Blazing Sword, which will help us but won't count toward Sean's total. 

If you donate to 10K for 2A, you consent to us sending your donation elsewhere
I'm sure this is a big "duh" to everyone who has been reading, but I need to state it explicitly for legal purposes.

If we don't meet our $10K goal
Sean doesn't get to attend GRPC 2017, and whatever has been donated under the 10K for 2A banner will be divided up (some will be kept by OBS, see above) and sent to various national and state-level charities and nonprofits. 

TL;DR Version

1. Donate money to humiliate Sean Sorrentino. 
2. Deduct your donation from next year's taxes. 
3. If enough money is raised, Sean dresses up for GRPC. 
4. Either way, your donation go to further gun rights and education. 

It's a win for everyone (except maybe Sean). 

What Has Erin Been Up To Lately?

Sorry, all, I spent nearly all of Monday and a good chunk of Tuesday getting Blue Collar Prepping's Teespring store up and running. And then I thought to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be a good idea to also have a store for yourself so people could buy t-shirts and the like branded with your own pony likeness?"

I thought that was a swell idea. And so, the GunBlog PonyCast store is now open for business! You can purchase tees, tanks, hoodies, sweats, mugs, tote bags and stickers, all bearing my delightful ponysona. The funds will go towards helping pay for me to attend various conventions, such as the Gun Right Policy Conference in Tampa in September and the NRA Annual Meeting in Atlanta next year.

Also, it's really going to cheese off Sean Sorrentino to see his podcast referred to as a PonyCast. ;)

Speaking of ponies, given both the popularity of "Force Sean to wear a pony to the Gun Rights Policy Conference" and my Blazing Sword initiative (which has successfully filed as a nonprofit in Florida and is now waiting for 501c3 status from FedGov), I've decided that my ponysona needed a rifle in her portrait.


Now I've always envisioned Powder Flash as being a gunpony; both her name and cutie mark involve combustible powder, and I've said from the start that she has a black powder rifle in her cottage in Ponyville, but I never thought to add one until recently.


Given how I seem to be at the forefront of helping LGBTQ people learning to shoot, and I have such an affection for MLP, it seems now is the time for my ponysona to arm herself.

Here's a picture I sent to the artist for reference:

So these are some rough drafts from the same artist who drew her. I'm basing the design off a Kentucky rifle (partly because of her sorta-kinda-coonskin cap and partly because Kentucky rifles are awesome), only with a bar trigger instead of a finger hook. (Because ponies don't have fingers, duh.)

So far, I really love the powder horn and the filigree (filly-gree?) on the rifle. The bar trigger looks good to me, but I'm not 100% certain on it and I'd like some feedback. As for the flintlock mechanism itself... I think the flintcock itself looks fine, but there's something funky about the frizzen that I can't quite explain. Feedback and advice are welcome and encouraged!

Help Me Ponify Sean Sorrentino aka Operation Briarpatch

Jeez, Erin, do you have to give a code name to everything you do?

Yes.

Why?

Because it makes me giggle!

So for those of you who don't know. on this week's GunBlog VarietyCast my co-host Sean Sorrentino said -- on the record, in front of everyone (around the 30 minute mark) -- that if someone gave him the required $500 to attend, he would wear a purple pony shirt of my own design.

I reckoned that he's probably need three shirts, since Florida is freaking hot this time of year and conventions are sweaty, and he probably didn't want to wear the same stanky t-shirt for all three days.

As it happens, either people really want Sean to attend, or they really want to embarrass him, because as of this writing we've already received enough donations to cover his plane ticket and our hotel room. So now it's fallen on me to make shirts for him.

Special Super Bon Bon sized thanks to Sean's friend John Doughty for using his awesome skills to not only create a ponysona for Sean, but also to design a lovely logo suitable for putting on a shirt! John has saved me a TON of time and the end result looks better than anything I would have made.

Also, be sure to go to my Facebook page to vote for a name for Sean's ponysona!

So now I'm sourcing shirts for Sean, and here's what I've come up with.

I can get three of these from Allied Shirts for $56.35 and free shipping. But while they're nice shirts, I get the feeling that Sean won't wear them very often. But I'd much rather get just two of them for $37.57, and have the third shirt be a nice embroidered polo, like this one from Queensboro:

Some of you may well be wondering "But Erin, why are you getting a nice embroidered polo when you can just get a third t-shirt and be done with it for $56.35?" And that is an excellent question.

If I don't get enough contributions, then that's what I'll do. But my reasoning here is twofold:

1. If we make it a very nice polo shirt, then Sean may not pay attention to the shirt he's putting on an inadvertently wear ponies to work or to a political function. And that will be HILARIOUS. 
2. To meet the $50 car minumum for embroidery, I'd need to add an additional shirt to the order. And honestly, I'd like to have a pony polo shirt as well, featuring my ponysona (Powder Flash) in complimentary colors. There's an evening reception the first day of the Gun Rights Policy Conference, and Sean and I would look quite spiffy wearing our "team uniforms". You want me to look spiffy, don't you?
   
   Besides, unlike Sean I'd wear mine all over the place, like to the NRA Annual Meeting or the Big 3 Media Event. And if I ever have another TV interview like I did with the BBC, I'd wear it then as well!

I realize that this nearly doubles our total, but the shirts are REALLY nice and Sean has promised to wear his to all day and even be filmed wearing it. So please donate to my t-shirt fund and I will have a really nice shirt and Sean can be publicly embarrassed!

Any additional money will go defray my food and gas costs to get there, and any extra after that will be donated to helping Charles "Dustbury" Hill with his medical expenses.

Thank you very much!

Can't We Please Vote For the Pony?

Can we PLEASE vote Princess Twilight Sparkle for President? I guarantee you she'll do a better job than any of the other candidates.

Artist: Pixelkitties

In fact, here's the lineup for the Equestrian Party:

President: Twilight Sparkle 

She's a Princess. She knows magic. She loves to read. She's OCD about rules and procedure. We're guaranteed to have the smartest, most ethical President in history. 

Vice President: Pinkie Pie

The Vice Presidency is pretty much a joke these days, and VPs mainly go to funerals, parties, and other functions that the President can't or wont attend. If it's a joke and it's a party, that means Pinkie Pie!

Secretary of State: Rarity

Daaahling, please! She's smooth, she's cultured, she speaks with a Mid-Atlantic accent so that she sounds European enough to win people over, but she can also be tough as nails when necessary. Isn't it time that America looks good on the foreign stage again?

Secretary of the Treasury: Applejack

She's honest. If that alone doesn't qualify her to manage our nation's money, there's also the fact that she's a hard worker and knows the value of a buck (pun gleefully intended). (Her brother Big McIntosh would make an excellent Secretary of Labor, and her grandmother Granny Smith for Secretary of the Interior.)

Secretary of Defense: Rainbow Dash

Aggressive, but a team player. Has the heart of a warrior but knows enough to listen to the wisdom of others. Plus, she can perform a totally sweet Sonic Rainboom. 

Secretary of the Interior: Fluttershy

Fluttershy is a friend to all animals, so naturally she will want to take care of them. But she's also kind enough to realize that humans have to be treated fairly as well. Plus, she can stare down a freaking dragon, meaning she's tough on pollution. 

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Zecora the Zebra

If you want to keep your people well,

You'll hearken to Zecora's spell. 

Her potions will help cure what ails ya, 

Even the bird flu from Southeast Asia. 

Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security: Special Agent Sweetie Drops

She's a skilled agent from an elite, secret agency dedicated to hunting and imprisoning monsters. Fighting terrorists and keeping America safe ought to be a snap for her. 

and finally, White House Press Secretary: 

Spike the Baby Dragon

Because it's not like he could do the job any worse than the last few people who had the job. 

In Which I Have Strong Feelings About the MLP Season Ender

Earlier this year, Salem took a page from my playbook and talked about the Season 5 opener of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This two-part episode was a remarkable thing, as it effectively took social justice warriors seeking enforced equality of outcome and cast them into a talking cartoon pony version of the East German Stasi.

I mean, just watch this video and shudder at such lyrics as You can't have a nightmare/ If you never dream.



You know... for kids!

As it turns out, the Glorious Leader of Our Town and villain of the episode -- one Starlight Glimmer* -- has been showing up in the backgrounds of various episodes this season, and so it comes as no surprise that she should re-appear as the Big Bad for the season ender as well. So far, all is good.

(I will spare you the synopsis and assume that if you're reading this then you saw the episode. However, if you haven't but want to know what I'm talking about, go here and start reading.)

What was not so good is how the ending just sort of... happened. As The_Jack wrote on my Facebook,

I liked the time travel and how it showed all the alt-ponies and the ways the present could have gone wrong. But man... that reform was too neat and tacked on.

Now lest you think I am expecting too much from a cartoon aimed at preteen girls and meant to drive toy sales, I first direct you to watch the aforementioned season opener again and marvel at how the story, while accessible by children, carries a message that is meaningful and relevant to adults.

Then I ask you to look at this summation of alternate dystopian timelines as a result of Bitchicorn Starlight Glimmer mucking around with causality:

http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1047457-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic

What you are seeing here are dystopias. Kid-friendly dystopias, to be sure, but the fact remains that each and every one of them are great examples of places you wouldn't want to live. These are mature concepts made accessible by cartoon sensibilities. Fairly heady stuff, and one of the reasons I'm a big fan of the show.

The ending, however, was basically... this:

http://geek.cheezburger.com/bronies/share/8589520384

Yeah... that doesn't track with me, especially since Starlight Glimmer's end goal was this:

http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1047796-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic

So with that in mind, here is my big rant on why I didn't like the too-tidy ending, how it was broken, and how it should have gone.

First of all, Starlight Glimmer has some sort of pathology -- sociopath, psychopath, I don't know for certain, but anyone who 1) is incapable of making friends without emotionally manipulating them and 2) basically says "I don't care about the future, I just want to hurt you" is some version of insane, callous, or other severe dysfunction.

Second, I have issues with the whole "Every time Twilight goes back in time, so does Starlight in order to thwart her" because it raises the logical question of "Where does Starlight go when Twilight is sent to the new timeline?" There are various possibly handwave-y answers to this, but they seem to reduce to either "Starlight Glimmer is willing to permanently strand herself in the past in order to keep enacting her revenge, which means she's psychotically crazy" or "Starlight Glimmer also returns to the new timeline but is unable or unwilling to see the consequences of her actions, which means she's delusionally crazy."

Third, Twilight is the Princess of Friendship. In this universe, it has been proven empirically that Friendship is literally Magic, which means that she's Princess of Magic as well. I have a really hard time accepting that mere unicorn Starlight Glimmer (with some undefined cutie mark) could out-magic the Alicorn Princess of Magic (who also has a magic cutie mark). That's akin to saying "This unicorn over here with a sun-shaped cutie mark is better at raising the sun than Celestia, the Alicorn Princess of the Sun." I'm sorry, but NO.

Fourth, here is how it should have ended: Twilight, realizing that Starlight Glimmer is pathological, decides that she needs to go back in time and prevent the childhood trauma from happening (basically, a pony version of Let's Kill Baby Hitler). So Twilight uses her special talent in magic -- remember, she was promoted to princess when she fixed a spell that Starswirl the Gandalf Bearded couldn't do -- to modify this other Starswirl spell and goes back to Starlight Glimmer's past. There, Twilight shows her how to make new friends, and halts the creation of the nascent sociopath.** Starlight Glimmer makes new friends and understands that friendship is the most powerful magic of all. Bam, problem solved in a proper pony manner and it makes sense.

Finally, let's say the writers really wanted that ending. OK, that still isn't a problem: just replace Starlight Glimmer with The Great And Powerful Trixie. This actually makes narrative sense, you see, as Trixie has a longstanding magical feud with Twilight (see Boast Busters  and Magic Duel), and she's demonstrated both an ability and willingness to find things which give her a magical edge (like the Alicorn Amulet).

If they'd used her instead of Starlight Glimmer, it would have changed the thrust of the episode from a stalkerish "I hate you and will do everything I can to ruin you" to "I'm going to prove once and for all that Trixie is the greatest!"

Which would mean the end conditions would change: all Twilight would have to do is admit that yes, Trixie beat her this time and Trixie is indeed both Great and Powerful, but The Great And Powerful Trixie's ego is turning the future of Equestria into a horrifying uninhabitable wasteland, so would she please stop screwing around with time? And Trixie, because she isn't an utter sociopath, accepts.

Either of these endings would have been preferable to the one we saw on screen. This matters to me because I have this terrible sneaking fear, given the final scenes of this season and the fact that the girls have been a unicorn short ever since Twilight was alicorned, that Starlight Glimmer will join the cast next season.

If it were Trixie, I'd be okay with it. The fans like her -- I like her -- and while she has an ego the size of an Ursa Major, she's not a bad pony and can easily be redeemed by the Avatars of Harmony. 

Starlight Glimmer, though -- is she actually redeemed? Or has she just been temporarily mollified by having been given what she wants, which is unconditional love? I think it's the latter, because I haven't seen any evidence that  she truly learned her lesson and has turned her back on her mandate of Enforced Equality For All. 

She's a ticking time bomb. And if she sticks around, Twilight and the others better keep not turn their backs on her.


* As Dustbury said back in the spring, "If you're a unicorn with a name based on a time of day, you're probably overpowered."

** It was asked "How come Starlight Glimmer's parents -- I assume she didn't arrive via parthenogenesis -- never saw this little ball of resentment growing? Unless they just didn't give a flip." Based on her actions and sense of entitlement, I'm guessing that their special snowflake could do no wrong in their eyes, and was likely an only child.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everypony!

May your day be full of food, festivities, and friendship.

Centennial Horse

Spoilers ahoy! Aweigh? A-neigh!

So for those of you who missed it, this weekend's episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was one long love-letter to its fans. It was pure pandering (but of the best sort), as it was full of references and call-backs and confirmation of fan theories, because it gave favorite background ponies important speaking roles and relegated the Mane Six to "once again saving the town".

"Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it will all be cleared up in a half hour or so?"

There's so much that's wonderful about this episode that I'm geeking out about it.

• Derpy speaks AND has an important, starring role!  True, they don't call her Derpy Hooves -- I don't think they say her name at all -- but that's unimportant. HER EYES ARE PROPERLY DERPED and that's all that matters. 
• Doctor Whooves is canon!  True, they don't call him that either, or say the words "Time Lord" or "TARDIS" -- but it's so heavily implied that it's essentially stated outright. 

Look! It's even got a floaty central thing!

• Also, Derpy is now totally the Doctor's companion. Allons-y!

• The dark truth about Bon Bon's many voices can finally be revealed. And strange jobs. And why she shows up in crowd scenes. 
• Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are now canonically roommates. And they have a jam session. 

[[Bronying intensifies]]

• Existential Gummy is best Gummy.
• Hey, look, it's Button Mash!

• And in case you missed it, there was one frame where the creative team showed up in horse masks:

Yes, it's quite obvious that as of this episode, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has...


... jumped the shark.


I bucking LOVE my fandom.  

My Little Pony: Jean-Claude Van Damme is Magic

This is GLORIOUS.

Sunday, Pony Sunday: Superbowl Ponies

So I came home tonight after my annual "Let's go watch a movie while everyone else is watching football" celebration to find that someone had posted "Well, we finally made it" to my Lederhosen wall, along with this video. If you don't feel like sitting through all of it, just fast-forward to the 35 second mark.


Super Bowl 2015 MLP Commercial by GradeAStuff
Yep, that's right: My Little Pony got a two-second segment during a freaking Superbowl commercial!

I'm actually a bit surprised they're ALL Colts fans.
Applejack strikes me as a Broncos kinda gal. 

What's more, that isn't a clip from the show.  It was specifically commissioned by the NFL for this commercial!  We have made it, indeed!

Sunday, Pony Sunday

I'm not impressed with this new season of Mythbusters. I was told that by cutting the build team, there would be more attention to science and that we would see how the experiments come together.

Instead, I see rather a lot of padding as Adam mugs for the camera and they try things over and over. And then we see them from different angles doing it all again. And then there are the annotations which flash so quickly that if I want to read them, I have to hit "pause".

Do you know what would make me happier? If they replaced the entire cast with ponies.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everypony!

May your day be full of food, festivities, and friendship.

PS: No, they aren't eating the little orange pony. That's just set dressing (heh) and is a reference to a recurring in-joke about the character, Scootaloo, being a chicken.




For those folks who want something a little more serious, head on over to Blue Collar Prepping as Chaplain Tim talks about prepping lessons to be learned from the pilgrims.

Sunday, Pony Sunday

That's funny, I always assumed Merle was an Applejack man. 

My Little Bioshock

They're Tricky

Played Hooky

No SHTFriday post today, because I spent yesterday hanging out with Oleg Volk, meeting people, and shooting nifty not-yet-for-sale guns, and that meant I had to push my Thursday responsibilities to today.

Fortunately for me, OkieRhio had an article ready, so we traded shifts:  hers went up today, and mine will go up on Sunday.

Until then, enjoy this Disney/Hasbro crossover, "My Little Gargoyles: Petrification is Magic"

Art by Cherry Garcia, the same talented lady who did the velociraptor images in Wednesday's post.

See you Sunday!

My Little... Raptor?

DNA is Magic!

Image courtesy of Cherry Garcia.

... clever girl.

The others can be found at Cherry Garcia's Tumblr.

Halloween Countdown, Day 0: I Am The Mistrəss of The Dərp!

See, I TOLD you all it was Derpy's fault for distracting me! ;)

Happy Nightmare Night, everypony! May you all get something sweet to bite.

Render unto Celestia what is Celestia's

Yeah, it's kind of like this:

Happy Tax Day, everypony.