I have been Ponified!

Meet Powder Flash, my alter ego (and pony version of the huntress picture to your upper left), expertly drawn by the unsinkable Joie Brown herself!

Joie is running a deal where she will draw a ponysona of your choice for only $15, but act now! There are only 5 slots left!

Email her at brown.joie@gmail.com to reserve a slot along with a description of what you want your design to be. Larger/more complicated designs may cost more, but consultation is free!

Powder Flash is Ponyville's resident expert on all things that go bang!  She mixes various explosive powders for use in fireworks, construction, and Pinkie Pie's party cannon.  She uses her ponykinesis to manipulate the precision tools of her trade, and her unicorn magic (which is gunmetal gray in color) allows her to operate in perfect safety by neutralizing combustion until she's ready to try out her custom mixtures. Then, with a touch of her unicorn "powder horn,"  she can set off a a show to amaze and delight her friends!

Yes, I just made a pony that mixes gunpowder and makes firecrackers and other explosives. If you think that she might also have a black-powder rifle in her cottage that she shoots via ponykinesis...  well, you'd be right. ;)

I will stat her up for Unknown Ponies soon!  :D

Unknown Ponies: One Bad Apple (Part 1)

Yes, it's the post you've been waiting for! Thanks for your patience, everypony. I've decided to break this into pieces because this post is getting quite large.

OK, a few assumptions before I begin the dissection of an MLP episode as a game of Unknown Ponies:

• The Cute Mark Crusaders are PCs; all other ponies are NPP (non-player ponies). 
• The PCs start out with completely empty Friendship Tracks and no Magic points.

The Show Begins

0:00   The Ponymaster informs Apple Bloom's player that her cousin from Manehattan is coming to visit for the first time. Apple Bloom (henceforth AB) looks at her character sheet, sees the lack of Friendship Points, and decides to do something about that. She then describes AB running around, trying out increasingly silly ensembles in an attempt to make a good impression. This causes the PCs to laugh, and thus a point of Laughter is earned.

During the role-play between AB and Applejack, the Ponymaster casually references the Harvest Day Parade. The PCs might notice this, but probably might not; the Cutie Mark Crusaders have shown an inability to pay attention to crucial details, especially when spoken by adults.

AJ lets it slip that the cousin also doesn't have her Cutie Mark. AB realizes this is going to be critical to the plot (heh) of the episode and runs off to gather the rest of the PC group. This does not gain her any specific Friendship Points, but it moves things along and gets all the characters together in one place.


Opening Sequence

1:09   It's entirely possible that some or all of the PCs will sing the opening song for the show. Depending on how many of them participate or how funny they are, points might be awarded:

• Loyalty if everypony sings along
• Laughter if somepony does a silly or hammy performance
• Kindness if somepony does a really awesome and sincere job of singing

It is my suggestion as writer of these rules that points for singing along should be awarded only for groups that meet infrequently. Regular players would likely get tired of singing along every week. It is my contention that the Cutie Mark Crusader PC group meets regularly.


Act One 

01: 45  All the PCs are gathered at the train station, giggling and running around and generally acting like kids do. As this is good role-playing, the PM allows Sweetie Belle (SB) and Scootaloo (SAL) to roll for Unicorn Magic and Flight, respectively. They do so, and roll well enough to score an improvement with those skills, and thus SAL is described as making wing-enhanced jumps which have lots of air time and SB's unicorn horn produces a brief burst of magical light. Since this is charming goofiness and the other CMCs are exhibiting the same giddiness as Apple Bloom, the PM decides that both SB and SAL get a Laughter point as well. Now all the CMCs match.

02:09  The train from Manehatten pulls up, and AB starts with "That's her! No, no, that's not her... ooh, that's her!" routine. This might be worth another Laughter point, depending on how well it's received at the table, but it's already been established that AB is looking forward to seeing her cousin and this action doesn't bring anything new to the scene.*

* This might make for a good guideline to be added to the rules:  acquiring Friendship Points only happens when it brings something new to a scene. This prevents lawyer-ponies from arguing that giving away 10 cupcakes to 10 different ponies earns them 10 Generosity points all at once.

02:30  Now we have more role-playing interaction, which is good. (I half-wonder if the PM has brought in a friend to role-play Babs Seed, but that's not important.)  And hey, the CMCs mention the Summer Harvest Parade, which means at least one of them was paying attention to the NPP giving out important information!

03:00  The Cutie Mark Crusaders are trying to recruit Babs into their organization. It is worth stating that this is categorically NOT worth any Friendship Points, because when you think about it, the founding purpose of the CMCs -- to find their special talents -- is inherently selfish.  They are not a service organization like the Filly Scouts; their only purpose is to advance the abilities of their members.

However, this is a new scene, so any humorous role-play is worth another Laughter Point. 

04:28  Another new scene, another chance to convince Babs to join the CMC. However, the Ponymaster has something nefarious up her hoof, and decides to have Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara show up.

Digression:

1. I imagine that Tiara's father, Filthy Rich, was visiting Granny Smith at Sweet Apple Acres to talk business and dragged his daughter along. She in turn brought along her best friend, and the two of them got bored and wandered off to find something to do. 
2. It is a testament to the strength of this show's writing that I despise these two bitches more than some actual people that I actually hate. The writers seem to have tapped into a rich vein of catty schoolyard mocking that brings back all sorts of unpleasant memories for me.
3. Watching these two in action makes me wonder if there should be an inverse of the Friendship Track, which monitors the Elements of Discord. I like the idea in general, but am not sure if it would improve gameplay or just be another bit of bookkeeping. If you have opinions on this, please let me know in the comments.

It's not entirely clear to me how this scene would play out in an actual game in terms of mechanics, but here are the salient points:

• The CMC are totally oblivious to the fact that Babs in insecure about not having a Cutie Mark, despite having covered her flank with her tail both times it's been brought up. This lack of empathy on their part is the core of this adventure. 
• Tiara and Spoon, on the other hand, wig to this immediately. Part of this is due to them being run by the Ponymaster, but part is due to the fact that they get special joy from harassing blank flanks. 
• Presented with the option of joining one side or the other, Babs chooses the team she thinks is less likely to rub her lack of a Cutie Mark into her face. 
• Some destruction and bullying occurs, which again makes me think of Elements of Discord, as Babs demonstrates anti-Kindness quite well. 

06:23  Here is another recurring CMC motif:  One of the PCs knows what should be done, but the other two shoot it down. It's unclear whether the players of these characters are clueless or really, really committed to playing the roles of "kids who frequently miss the point."

Act Two

06:42  Presented with a clear problem -- "How do we deal with a bully?" -- the CMCs brainstorm to figure out what to do next. AB exhibits her proto-special ability by suggesting they build another float, which is shot down by SAL, and SB once again is the voice of reason and is once again shot down. Eventually it is resolved that they will solve their problem by hiding from Babs until she leaves town.

07:24   Sweetie Belle's player, annoyed with this, decides to concoct a musical number to highlight the futility of this plan. The other Pony Characters play along -- perhaps Apple Bloom's player is the "set builder" and thinks up venues (soda shop, movie theater, etc) where they could be minding their business. Scootaloo's player is all about action, so perhaps she contributes the chase scenes, the awful things Babs could do, etc. Loyalty Points are awarded for participating in the song.

While this all seems like script padding, this is actually an important development, and it is as critical to this episode as any scene in The A-Team or MacGuyver where the heroes build stuff to the accompaniment of music, because the characters now realize (with perhaps some help from the Pony Master during the song) that they must be proactive instead of reactive to solve their problem. (This is reinforced at the 09:20 mark where Babs steals their clubhouse, leaving them without any safe haven.)

10:01  They're all in Sweetie Belle's room. We know this because Apple Bloom says Babs kicked her out of her room, and we see SB's father fishing on the dock in front of the house, and for all we know of her home life, Scootaloo is a homeless orphan who mooches off her friends to keep from starving.... wow, it just got Dickensian here for a minute, didn't it?

(As an aside to Newbiespud:  in your Friendship is Dragons comic, Scootaloo should totally be a courier/smuggler who is used via cutout (Sweetie Belle) by Rarity the Rogue.)

10:32  Either AB's player has a moment of insight, or the PM shows mercy* on the characters by having her spot the preparations for the Summer Harvest Parade as a clue-by-four. Regardless, they realize that the Parade is going to be critical to their plans... despite the fact that revenge is not how polite ponies behave.

*It is a point of philosophical debate whether the Ponymaster is setting the PCs up to fail by suggesting they do something which is contrary to the principles of Friendship, or if she is simply mad at them because they have failed to Get A Clue and Talk To An Adult, or the players behind the Cutie Mark Crusaders are more than a little masochistic and enjoy catastrophic failures. Were I to guess, I would say that  #3 leads to #2 and then to #1, with the PM thinking "If you're going to mess with me, I'm going to mess with you right back!"  As long as everyone at the game table is having a good time, I see no problem with this.

11:16  They are finally putting a plan into action! Hooray! The players are probably being circumspect and not letting the PM know what they are plotting. This is also fine, as it is both amusing and worthy of a Loyalty
point for all concerned.

12:03   OH MY CELESTIA IT'S A DELIBERATE A-TEAM HOMAGE. Laughter point for all ponies!

12:19  It's funny that two of the three CMCs are  progressing towards their cutie marks with this sequence:  AB with her general "build stuff" skill, and SAL fast-talking the PM with a "I like going fast on my scooter, so that should mean I know how to tweak a transmission" line.

12:37  After working all night, the ponies have finally finished their build. As this was hard work, aka Honest Labor, they each earn an Honesty point. If Scootaloo had said "I think we're golden" that would have earned her another Laughter point, but she didn't.

12:50  End of Act 2.  Current tallies for the Cutie Mark Crusaders are as follows:

Laughter Points:  3
Loyalty Points:    2
Honesty Points:   1

NO points in Kindness, Generosity, or Magic.  Hmmm. It's almost as if the Cutie Mark Crusaders are missing the entire point of the episode...

Princess Celestia: Tool of Fate, Xanatos Gambiteer, or Gambling Addict?

OK, so I didn't get to the play-by-play of the MLP episode yet but I think you bronies are gonna love this. It's the result of some mad thinking between hardcore fans and I think it offers some very juicy ideas and ties a lot of concepts together.

It took place as an IM discussion so that's how I'll post it.

Him: O_o why are there tracks to a place that doesn't exist?

me: Huh?

Him: The train to the arctic north. Canada doesn't even have trains that go that far north. And we love trains!

me: Perhaps Celestia foresaw such an eventuality?

Him: Probably, she's pretty amazingly powerful and stuff.

me: And yet she needs 6 young ponies to solve crises?   I know, I know: she's grooming them to be her successors.

Him: I have no idea if that's what's going on there. She's setting Twi up for something, but part of me wants to believe that simple succession is too obvious.

(A pause in conversation occurs while I read something he emailed titled "A Mostly Accurate Summary of the History of Equestria" where he references Celestia and Luna finding the Elements of Harmony.)

me: Hm, that's something I'd not thought of. I had always assumed that Celestia had CRAFTED the Elements of Harmony. But wouldn't it be a kick if they existed before her?

Him: She actually said that she and Luna found them before facing down Discord.

me: Huh, I missed that. Which is interesting, because the EoH are, presently, optimized for 6. So either there are 4 alicorn princesses who are missing,
OR
the EoH are some degree of sentient and can re-configure themselves.

Him: Given that both Luna and Celestia are a thousand years old and don't look a day over 30, I'm pretty sure that they're probably kind of special.

me: No doubt, but I recall Twi asking why Cel and Luna couldn't defeat Discord again, like the last time, and Cel said something to the effect of "The Elements are keyed to you now." As in "They picked you"

Him: I would think of it as Celestia and Luna both having the Use Magic Item ability that 3e rogues had which let them emulate the appropriate factors to activate the elements, and because they're like level 40 bad-asses they can do it to 3 or even all 6 elements at once.

me: But that again begs the question, why have the Mane 6 fight Discord?

Him: Once the true vessels of Harmony were revealed, the EoH went from "Eh, you'll do" to "NO ONE BUT THE CHOSEN ONES"

me: So you're positing a divine destiny sort of thing.

Him: I actually honestly think that Celestia is surprised at the power of the Elements even though she used them before.

me: So the 6 aren't just exemplars, but avatars?

Him: I've always had that position. I kind of think the harnesses and crown are just foci anyway, and the real element is the ponies themselves. Kind of like the Dragon Scroll in Kung-fu Panda... the secret ingredient is that they're awesome.

me: Assuming this is true -- and I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you -- this means that all of Twi's existence has basically been a Xanatos Gambit by Celestia, because what are the odds that 5 of the 6 Avatars of Harmony are living in Ponyville?  Ergo, Celestia must have one hell of an intelligence network**, manipulating things such that all the avatars are in one handy place for her Chosen One.

Him: I say fate.

me: If you say fate, then Celestia is either incompetent or a gambler of such a level that she needs counseling. "Yes, all the prophecies indicate that my evil and immensely-powerful sister is going to escape and imprison me. I shall do fuck-all about it, except to send my student to Podunk Town in the hopes she figures out what to do in time." Sorry dude, I just don't buy that.

Him: I'm not sure that Celestia even knows what the ultimate purpose of the Elements really is. It's possible they exist for one specific task that will be the end of them.

Him: Well, it needs work. And actually, that four lost alicorn princesses thing kind of makes me think that the four lights that entered the moon in Mare in the Moon might have more significance.

me: ..... ooh. There's definitely plot potential there. If you'll pardon the pun.

Him:  Why would Celestia and Luna never mention these other Alicorns? Are they possibly Alicorn princes instead? Why would they wait 1000 years if they always intended to free Nightmare Moon? If they didn't intend to free her, what changed their minds?

me: Damn, I like the way your mind works.  Actually, let's go 3 princes and another princess, so there are an even number. Well, odd number really. But a MATCHING number.

Him: I like that. I have this sinister plot in my head but every way I try to work it, there's no reason to suppress the knowledge of other Alicorns that doesn't also throw Nightmare Moon under the bus - except Celestia's regret.

me: Make them like the Ringwraiths? Corrupted by Nightmare Moon's power, they became... VAMPONIES! Dun dun dunnnnnn!

Him:  Essentially the other alicorns betray Celestia (who is an utter paragon of Harmony) and try to throw her for a loop by corrupting Luna, clearly not expecting that Celestia would place the good of Equestria before the good of her sister, but if they're, essentially, the previous bearers of the Elements, how does Celestia use the Elements against Nightmare Moon? With all five of the bearers turned against her, how could she activate the magic?

me: I dunno, but here's a thought: What if Sombra was an alicorn? We don't see much of his body. His wings might be hidden under armor or robes or whatever.

Him I was just thinking that!

me: *brohoof*

Him: *brohoof*

me:Which... oh shit. OK, hang on... Cadence is an alicorn, whose cutie mark is a crystal heart, and now she lives in the Crystal Empire. Clearly, Cadence is Sombra's heir! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!

Him: My brain has exploded

me: MINE TOO!

Him: Okay, so I was just thinking, isn't Chrysalis also an Alicorn of a sort?

me: Yes, of a sort. Which reminds of something I saw on My Little Brony. Let me dig it up... Aha!  http://cheezburger.com/6990634240

Him: Oh my! Wait, wait... did Chrysalis maybe get a hold of Sombra and that's why his heart was black? Because she ate all his love?

me: Possibly! Or maybe Sombra used the love poison on her and it turned her evil.

Him: I'm... not quite getting the logic jump in this picture... or was Sombra trying to make Equestria unappetizing so Chrysalis would go somewhere else? And actually, if that's the case then those two things aren't incompatable either. Though he had no love, he still had a duty.

me: AHA!  http://i.imgur.com/BU3JMoY.png

Him: +1,000,000 internets

me: AND LOOK THE PRINCESS IN THE ILLUSTRATION IS AN ALICORN.

Him:  "The book states that a long time ago, an Earth prince had given an Alicorn princess the drink intending for it to make her fall in love with him. However, they were so lost in each other's eyes, they were unable to perform their duties, and their kingdom fell into ruin." Sombra is not an earth pony... unless that horn of his is something going horribly wrong.

 me: OK. So someone else corrputed Chrysalis. Fair enough. And she tried to seduce Sombra, so he turned all dark. It still works, it's just less romantically tragic.

Him:  There must be fallen kingdoms all over Equestria by now O_O

me:  It fits the genre.

Him: I think that both Chrysalis and Sombra will make a return. Oh... maybe that's why Celestia wanted to reform Discord? So that there would be some extra muscle for when they eventually did return!

me: Makes sense!

Him:  I'd really like to see Discord in the background of a few episodes, maybe with other ponies, so that we know he's making friends.

me: Okay. WOW. Good work.

Him: Wait, there's the Alicorn amulet. Where did that come from?

me: Good question.

Him: It honestly seems kind of evil

me:  There were theories it was Sombra's, and there's the chance his horn flew away in the explosion.

Him: His horn totally flew away. I remember thinking "That horn kind of didn't even seem to be damaged apart from the fact that it was no longer attached to a unicorn." Which... if the alicorn amulet works on anypony and not just unicorns, your tragic romance is back on.

me: And that reinforces my "Sombra is an alicorn" hypothesis.

Him: I had like, seven tabs of MLP episodes open for reference material earlier.  Just going to check on that horn thing.

(Time passes)

me: Talking to a brony on Facebook, and he made an interesting point: "The crystal empire city is a six-pointed star, and it acts as a magic circle that amplifies emotional energy and projects it over Equestria." To which I said, "Oooh! Civic-scale occultism!" *

me: He also said "This also is reflected in Twilight's cutie mark, a six-pointed star. It's like their version of a pentacle."

Him: I had an idea like that, the Crystal Empire was one of probably five or six locations all over Equestria of special magical significance. Probably six places, one per element, although if the Crystal Empire is specific to Love then the other locations are either also powered by love or other aspects of friendship not covered by the Elements.

me:  *ahem*  "LOVING kindness, it's an easy feat"

Him:  Yes, Sombra's horn is specifcally shown as being intact.  Hahaha XD Unless there are two stained glass windows of the Mane 6 defeating Nightmare Moon, they replaced the window of the element bearers with a window of Spike delivering the crystal heart.

me: hmmm

Him:  Waaaaait a second. What was the book that Luna summoned? I didn't see that last time. Tt had stars on it.

me: We don't know yet. But yes, very mysterious. With lots of meaningful looks between the sisters regarding it.

Him: It's probably something to do with what Luna and Cel were talking about before Twi showed up.

me: Yes.  And also why Cel was giving Twi more duties, and room to fail.

Him:  It's a book containing prophecies set down by Starswirl the Bearded... 

me: Could be!

Him: Starswirl is referenced in four episodes off the top of my head. Maybe it's only three. Luna Eclipsed, Hearth's warming eve, and It's About Time.

me: Still, it seems plausible.

* This would further explain why Celestia didn't want the Crystal Empire to fall; it was a matter of national security to Equestria.  And having the Captain of the Royal Guard marry the heir to the Crystal Empire is not only a smart political move, but also provides Celestia with constant intelligence about a potentially magical WMD.**


** From that same Facebook conversation I was having:

Other Him: So Princess Celestia is also that magnificent bastard Xanatos as well as being Sol Invictus?

me: That's my contention. Also, she has an incredible spy network, because: We have seen Pegasi Royal Guards, and we have seen Unicorn Royal Guards, but have we seen Earth Pony Royal Guards? (Okay, probably, but work with me here.)

Other Him: Yes, an army of spies. Just nomal looking folk. That's what the patrician of Ankh Morpok does, in Discworld. Just hires schmucks and gathers intel, then has professional spies sift through it. Also this is sorta supported in the show, what with Pinkie using stealth a lot. PINKIE SPY

me: "The name's Pie. Pinkie Pie."

Other Him:  It would explain her employment at Sugar Cube Corner, despite her never really doing any work.

If you're running a pony campaign and all these ideas do not set your mind to drooling with the possibilities, there is something wrong with you.

Unknown Ponies: Using the Friendship Track

The Friendship Track has long been a point of confusion among Unknown Ponies players. I'm not sure why, but it seems like players either do not understand how the track should work, or feel they must go out of their way to interact with NPCs to grind for Friendship Points. I've long sought to explain how the system worked, but have had limited success.

However, that all changed last week. 

Saturday's episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, "Keep Calm and Flutter On,"  featured the return of fan favorite Discord and the attempt by Fluttershy to rehabilitate him.  At the end (Spoiler Alert!),  Fluttershy gets him to reconsider his ways by... well, let's just roll the clip: 






When I saw this, my jaw hit the floor because throughout the episode Fluttershy -- to use Unknown Ponies terminology -- had been building up Friendship Points through her interaction with Discord. At the climax of the show, she then royally bitchslapped him by spending ALL OF THEM (possibly with a Magic point to amplify success).

Here's a breakdown of how I would have handled it using UP:FIA rules:

• Generosity point for allowing Discord to stay at her house; Kindness point for making an effort to make him feel welcome. 
• Kindness point awarded when Discord breaks her lamp and she says nothing.
• Loyalty point (trust) awarded when Fluttershy leaves Discord alone in her house. 
• another Generosity point awarded when she allows Discord to keep rotating the house because "it makes him feel comfortable."  
• When Discord says "You're too kind, Fluttershy" one of the PCs pipes up and says "That's another Kindness point, right?" The Ponymaster, trapped by her own words, says yes. 
• Fluttershy decides to hold a dinner party for her friends. This might require spending three Generosity points to ensure Discord's cooperation -- but then, it might not, if Discord saw the party as an opportunity for more mischief. Either way, it's a win for Fluttershy's player: she either keeps the points, or has definite proof that spending the points are influencing Discord's behavior. 
• Kindness point awarded for Fluttershy saying that "I can't remember my house ever being this lively before you came along" to Discord. 
• The rest of the dinner party is a bit of a wash, because any Loyalty points earned from interaction with Discord would be lost through failing to object to the mistreatment of the other ponies.
• Honesty point awarded when Fluttershy promises never to use her Element of Harmony against Discord. She gets two more when Spike tries to get her to use it and she says "I made a promise and I intend to keep it."
• Cue Discord gloating about how Fluttershy's friendship make her incapable of acting against him, and he is free forever.  The PCs now know this is the critical moment. Fluttershy says "NOT your friend!" and walks off; Discord taunts her about "You think I'll change things back? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had?"
• The PC says "Yep!" and spends all her points. This episode alone, Fluttershy's player has earned 4 Kindness, 3 Honesty, two Generosity and one Loyalty -- not counting however many more the character might have had stored. 
• The other PCs, whose characters are watching from the bank, are also free to spend THEIR  Friendship points as well in order to help Fluttershy, because they are A) present, B) affected by this too, and C) friends with Fluttershy. 
• Epic smackdown commences.

"Well played, Fluttershy. Well played."

So after watching and coming to this realization, I knew that what I needed to do was analyze a show in the full context of Unknown Ponies. So tomorrow, what I will do is give a play-by-play of the Season 3 episode "One Bad Apple,"  because it is both a Cutie Mark Crusaders episode (and therefore precisely the kind of adventure that UPFIA is trying to emulate) and because it is the first CMC episode to show actual skill improvement.

Stay tuned, fellow Bronies! Same pony time, same pony channel!

Unknown Ponies: Earth Ponies redux

So in a previous playtest, Mike Pondsmith said:

One of the players pointed out that the Earth Ponies get extra Skills rule was similar to the Human bonus in D&D 4th, , then proceeded to show me how to game it.

After griping about how no sane GM would allow this, and it would only be an issue if you had Fluttershy running your game, I finally allowed that maybe, just maybe, giving skill bonuses to earth ponies wasn't the quick and easy solution I thought it was, and that I needed to give it more thought.

The thing is, I kept going back to this quote by Lauren Faust, which is where I got the idea for skill bonuses in the first place (emphasis mine)

On Earth Ponies:
"*fyre-flye Mar 3, 2011
While not magical like the other pony types, Earth Ponies do have a connection to the land that other types do not. In Equestria, growing food and tending animals (Fluttershy's talent with animals is unusual for a pegasus, I always imagined she feels more at home on the ground than in the sky) is just as necessary, as managing weather and magic. Perhaps more important, don't you think? They are ponies, not people, so perhaps appreciating each other as equals is not so difficult for them."

So it's imperative to me that earth ponies exhibit a certain je ne sais quoi for, basically, making and tending and doing earthy-worky-athletic stuff, and that it be represented mechanically.

And then, in a fit of madness, the idea struck:  earth ponies are animists. 

No, really, hear me out on this.  I think we can all agree that Pegasi are elementalists, yes?  I mean, they physically manipulate wind and clouds and rain and lightning.

Unicorns, therefore, are hermeticists. As in, they believe in magic, but they also believe in science, and that their magic is just as rigorous and formulaic as science is.

(Kelpies, despite being awesome, are non-canonical. Still, if they were, they'd be short path Buddhists with all the internal re-arranging of chakras and the like in order to shapeshift or develop beneficial adaptations.)

So with all this in mind, it's plainly obvious to me that earth ponies are animists. They have a special connection with the corporeal and terrestrial that other ponies lack. They understand the concept of of the genius loci, and they alone, of all the pony types, can perceive (if unconsciously) and interact with those spirits.

Or, to put it another way, earth ponies are friends with the earth, and can make it do things just by asking nicely.

Mechanically, it's quite simple: Earth ponies, and only earth ponies, may spend Friendship Points on inanimate objects* in order to achieve greater success.

Example:
Applejack is harvesting the apple crop from Sweet Apple Acres. She wants to buck the tree and have all of the apples fall all at once into her baskets and nowhere else.

Thematically (within the setting of the game), she understands the tree at an unconscious level and knows the sweet spot to kick and at what pressure. (Her cutie mark helps in this regard; more on how that works in a later post.)

Mechanically, she is spending a Friendship Point to accomplish this, in exactly the same way that other ponies could spend FPs in order to get help from non-player ponies.

So it's not so much that earth ponies have better skills, it's that they have a better understanding of what they are working with. They have better leverage.

To put it in empirical terms:

• Cutie Mark skill always beats non-CM skill
• Earth pony with CM skill always beats earth pony without CM skill
• Earth pony without CM skill but who spends FPs always beats non-earth pony

Does this make sense, or is it clear as mud?


* And by inanimate objects I don't mean just rocks/soil/trees/crops. I mean "Anything that isn't a self-aware life-form."  This includes dresses and cupcakes as well as plants and farmland. 

Saturday Morning Ponies

Fresh from San Diego Comic Com come two videos from season 3 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I've mentioned before that it seems like The Hub had my games of Unknown Ponies bugged, because it seemed like elements of them -- Derpy flying backwards, the Timber Wolves, etc -- kept cropping up throughout season 2. But this video has convinced me that a writer from the show really IS reading my blog, because it might as well be the theme song for Failure is Awesome.



Please note the mathpony cameo around the 0:50 mark. I believe The Jack has found his pony avatar...



I call upon the... wait. Crystal ponies? Man, this throws everything off!




The thing is, they don't look like they're crystalline -- of course, we're only going by book illustrations and not an actual picture of one from the show. But it seems more like they're earth ponies with crystal architecture/technology than anything else.



Dang it, I still want sea ponies!



That'll do, sea pony. That'll do.

More Unknown Ponies playtest reports

Wow, I talked a lot about guns last week, didn't I?  It makes sense, seeing as how it was Independence Day and all that, but I think it's time for a break. Let's talk about ponies instead!

So, in the wake of Mike Pondsmith's previous playtest of Unknown Ponies: Failure is Awesome and his request that I revamp the game engine, I got together with math guy and fellow gunbrony The Jack to help me come up with a better dice mechanic.

Using his suggestion that sixes and threes are recurring numbers in MLP: FiM  (six mane characters,  six elements of harmony, three types of pony,  three Cutie Mark Crusaders, etc) I decided that it would be amusing if we used three six-sided dice (that's 3d6 in nerdspeak), with the picture of a pony on one of the faces. That way, there would be a pegasus die and a unicorn die and an earth pony die, and if you got your pony type on a roll it would result in critical success, and maybe friendship bonuses if you got other ponies, and a super-duper mega awesome success if you got all three types of pony on your roll.

Jack took this idea, did MATH AND SCIENCE! to it, and eventually came up with the following:

The ponies replace the 1 pip on the dice. Each die represents a separate type of pony.

Skills and abilities range from Zero to Five, with 6 being "god-like". Ponies level up in increments of 1/2 (half levels not shown):

6     "God-like"
5     World Class
4     Master Class
3     Skilled
2     Average
1     Novice
0     No skill

(There were also some dice mechanics but many of them didn't survive playtest. The improved version will be listed later in order to prevent confusion.)

I sent all of this on to Mike, who declared it a step in the right direction and easy enough to implement. He said he'd run a game with it and get back to me with the results.

Well, it took him a couple weeks, but here are the after-action reports.

Episode 1: (No name given)
I'll give you a full analysis later, but in general it worked much better. Of course, by the end of the episode, Rarity and Sparklemane had divided Ponyville into one faction while Wintermayne and Forest Moon had broken off into a rival faction, with the rest of the Six forced to choose up sides. Meanwhile, the Windigoes are swirling around and Justice Colt is getting into a froth warning everyone about the "EVIL" that is looming! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

Just another day in Equestria...


Episode 2: The Worst Babysitter
Winter Mane decides to go back to Stalliongrad. However, Pumpkin Cake has learned how to teleport to wherever WM is, and so teleported onto his head as the train is halfway there. So WM comes back. He decides that since he can't get rid of the Cake twins, he will train them in the proper rough Stalliongrad way, which means taking them out into the Everfree forest and watching them fend for themselves (holy Dragon Ball Z!). They are all attacked by Timberwolves, which leads to the rest of the party (and most of the Mane 6) saving them. However, Rarity, who has been feuding with both Winter Mane and Forest Moon all along (it's mutual), uses the incident as an excuse to rouse the citizens of Ponyville against them (aided by PC Jacques Sparklemane). With all Ponyville divided and fighting... harmony is destroyed—and the Windigoes arrive!

Episode 3: Thawing Hearts of Ice
Ponyville is getting buried under snow. Most of Rarity's faction are holed up on one side of town, while the Six try to reason with the other sides. Forest Moon travels into the strangely untouched Everfree to talk to Zeccora, while Winter Mane and Sure Shot (a player “photographer” character), trek back to Ponyville, picking up groups of stray ponies trapped by the sudden blizzard. With his knowledge of arctic survival, Winter Mane easily leads the freezing ponies to Ponyville, becoming a hero in the process. A showdown ensues between Winter and Rarity's supporters, ending when Princess Celestia shows up and calls them both to task. She tells them that since her hooves will be full dealing with the Windigoes they have summoned, they will have to take Twilight's balloon and travel to Stalliongrad to borrow Mayor Joseph Stallion's magic Staff of Windigo Banishment. Contrite at the mess they have caused, both Winter Mane and Rarity apologize to each other and set out on their mission.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about the fact that Mike's games of Unknown Ponies are for more awesome than my own. On the one hand, I'm happy that his players are having a good time and he's using the system to make epic adventures. On the other, I feel like I've been shown up in that someone is a better Pony GM.

Anyway. What did your players think of the new rules, faithful student?

1) Players liked the new “three pony system.” But actual play in Episode 1 showed that there was a flaw in the dice spread; exceptions happened far too often. So in Episode 3, we tried using D10s instead of D6's. Game play evened out. Much better results.

I asked Mike to explain this in detail, because math and I don't get along. He clarified:

With a D6 spread, you had two out of 6 values that could drive a "pony" special. So a 3rd of the time, something massive and unpredictable had to happen. With a D10 spread, it's down to 2 out of 10. That means only 20% of the time weird things happen. Pony specials should BE special. That's what makes them fun. Players need predictability. 80% of the time, they would get it. 20% of the time, it's wacky.

Okay, I get it. Kind of. I sent this off to mathbrony and he replied

The frequency of specials was a worry of mine. Glad that the fix was easy. It's hard to gauge how often you want to have special events go. That's why playtesting's so handy. The resolution setup is nicely streamlined too. Give Mike kudos on that, he got a much faster and simpler way that got the mechanisms I was aiming for.

Speaking of resolution (that's a segue if I've ever heard one),

2) We also reduced the number of resolution steps in the process in Episode 3. You now just roll your 3 dice and have to get enough successes to match the level of difficulty set by the PM (there's a table now). A success is any number equal or greater than your Attribute+Skill. Any “pony” dice you roll are added/subtracted to your success pool, with the number of total successes over the PM's requirement equaling how well you do. In PVP situations, both sides roll their 3 dice and the pony with the MOST successes wins. This system was fast and very easy to use.

3) Added a “damage table” for fighting. Your Pony has Physical HP equal to 5x Body and “Spirit” HP equal to 5x Soul. Physical attacks obviously are taken from Physical-- Magical and Emotional attacks come from your Spirit. Going to 0 on either one means you “faint” until your friends revive you.

If you're confused -- and I imagine that you are -- you can see what he's talking about by looking at a PDF he kindly sent me. I think the charts explain a lot better than words would. Moving on...

4) One of the players pointed out that the Earth Ponies get extra Skills rule was similar to the Human bonus in D&D 4th, , then proceeded to show me how to game it. Eventually balanced all classes by giving each THREE special skills:
1. Unicorns: Unicorn Magic, Ponykinesis & Ponyport
2. Pegasi: Flight, Weather Control and Zephyr (the ability to manipulate small objects with directed wind currents)
3. Earth Pony: Pony Tail (ability to pick up small objects with your tail, demonstrated in series by Applejack), Crafter (ability to make simple items, build things, grow plants, cook, as demonstrated by the fact that Earth Ponies tend to be the “makers” in the society) and Earth Sense (ability to perceive things about weather, animals and general environment, as demonstrated in show by Pinkie's “Pinky Sense” and Applejack's danger perception at the cliff during the Element Quest.

Notice that each pony now has a way to manipulate small objects, which players really wanted.

Now this, dear reader, is where I had what is politely called a "shit fit." To say that I vehemently oppose this patching of rules is to strongly understate my passion, which is akin to the intensity of a thousand blazing suns. Basically, my rebuttal was this:

1. I have only ever seen one unicorn teleport and that is Twilight Sparkle. While I am certain other unicorns could teleport, it is not an across-the-board ability or we'd have seen Rarity do it. 
2. I have never ever seen anything like Zephyr in the cartoon. Ever. 
3. After much back and forth, I finally conceded that Earth Ponies needed to be looked at, and that their ability of skill bonuses wasn't the simple and easy fix I thought it would be. However, "Pony Tail" is not an exclusively earth pony ability, because we saw Rarity do it in Party of One.  That said...
4. ... this fascination with making sure everypony has an ability to pick up and manipulate things is going overboard, as it is never an issue in the cartoon. It's over-analysis of the variety that MST3K* addressed and so unless it's really, really fine or especially dexterous work, just assume all ponies can do it. Okay?

5) Players liked the Attribute System, but wanted it simplified a bit. Now you get one Poor (1) Attribute, one Good (4) Attribute and the rest are Average (3). If you want to get another Good, you have to take an extra Poor. If you want to get an Exceptional, you have to take two extra Poors. The Class Bonuses worked fine with this system.

I'm cool with this, especially since I hadn't worked out a decent conversion from UA to UP anyway.
I need to ask him if he stacked pony-type bonuses (pegasi getting a boost to their Speed attribute, etc) or if this was used in place of. Based on his last sentence I'd say it sounds like you do your stats and then pick your pony type (calling it "race" or "breed" just sounds wrong) but I want to make sure. It's how I would do it.

Part of me wants to object to blank flanks having Average stats, because I do want stallions and mares to have a definite mechanical advantage over fillies and colts, but perhaps I am worrying too much over perceived balance at the risk of making the game less fun. I'm not sure. If you're still reading this, I welcome your feedback on this issue. (Especially you, mathbrony.)

The next big step, if we're going to keep using this system, is to determine how skills improve. Stats can still be bought up by spending Magic points (though I may need to increase the amount of Magic used to bump a stat) but I'm not immediately sure how best to implement the Failure is Awesome mechanic with the current skill setup.

Although it looks like we changed a lot, we actually didn't—mainly filled in some holes here and there (like a damage system, which came up when Winter Mane and Ariel Hooves fought the Timberwolves in the Forest.) Also, in general I've found it is much cleaner to even out the number of Class bonuses than to allow the players to get extra points that they can use to game the system. I hope that this letter will be useful to you and that your games will be as fun as ours have been, thanks to YOU, Princess Erin, and all your hard work!

You know,  I could get used to being called "Princess Erin" on a regular basis. ;)


Anyway, the upshot of all this is

1. I haven't been neglecting Unknown Ponies;
2. Try these rules and see how you like them;
3. If you have any questions or house-rules or suggestions for improvement, please chime in.

Thanks! Everyone (everypony?) who contributes is helping make a better game!


* Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax."

Talking Ponies with Mike

Last night I stayed up far too late, because I was deep in discussion with Mike Pondsmith about how to make Unknown Ponies a better game. It was a good discussion, filled with lots of great feedback and insight on how game design works (hint: make it as idiot-proof as possible), as well as a very nice compliment that I had talent and that talking to me was preferable to grading papers.

Well, maybe that last part isn't much of a compliment. But still, I got one-on-one feedback with an Actual Game Designer, which is always awesome.

Here are the lessons I took from our discussion:

1. Know who your audience is. Mike suggested I make the game simpler so as to appeal to a younger audience; I posited that I doubted the target audience for the show would be interested in role-playing, and instead aimed at the much larger, much more active, more net-savvy Brony fanbase. However, as the discussion went on, I realized that A) Not all Bronies are gamers (and therefore would want a simple game), and B) Don't alienate a potential segment of your player base. 
2. If I am serious about making Unknown Ponies into a work I can be proud of -- rather than just a fun little experiment I cobbled together in a few days -- I need to stop using the Unknown Armies mechanics and come up with a system of my own. Not only would this address the problem with #1 above, it would also make the game more "mine."
3. This, however, leads into a problem, specifically: I suck at game mechanics.  So clearly I need to find a way to un-ass myself ricky-tick and get cracking on unique, flavorful mechanics...
4. ... without completely destroying all the previous work I've done. I really don't want to come up with a really elegant system for skill resolution only to find that I can no longer use the "Failure is Awesome" mechanic which is central to the game.

So, you know, no problem. I just need to create an entire game engine from scratch while still maintaining that specific fast & fun experience and not losing any pony flavor.

HELP.

Monday Bronyday: Mike Pondsmith plays Unknown Ponies

Yes, that Mike Pondsmith. He's a brony, and he friended me on Facebook (usually it's the other way around) and then told me he'd be running a game of Unknown Ponies for his friends.

Naturally, I asked for a game report. This is what transpired:

Dear Princess Erin,

Okay, here's the game report. Cody played a Russian/Soviet pony from Stalliongrad (it's on the map) who set out from his snowed in city to Canterlot to ask Princess Celestia for “flour to make bread for starving ponies”. Meanwhile, Jacob played a heroic pony from Germaney who wants to join the Palace Guard (but who doesn't have the fighting skills yet). Emili played a studious young unicorn who wants to find a way to fly like a pegasi, and who has been sent to Canterlot by Twilight to find some books on the subject. Finally, Lisa played a unicorn archeologist who lives on the Zebra continent and studies lost civilizations. We started with Lisa (Forest Moon), who found herself in the hoof-prints of Derring Do, in a lost city covered in dragon-shaped statues. She was trapped by a horde of nasty shadow creatures with glowing eyes, and only escaped by touching a mysterious emerald that teleported her to Equestria. Meanwhile, Cody (Winter Mane) was sent to Ponyville to recover from his arduous journey. Jacob (Tyrael B. Hooves) was sent to Ponyville to train his fighting skills under Rainbow Dash. Emili (Pepper Sprint, the cousin of the police pony (casual) Pepper Spray), was returning via train to Ponyville after getting a book on flight from the Royal Library.

Meanwhile, the teleport spell deposited Forest Moon 3,000 feet up over Equestria, only to be rescued at the last moment by Rainbow Dash. On the train to Ponyville, Winter Mane was harassed by Pinky Pie who tried to throw him a “Welcome to Ponyville” party; poor Pepper Sprint got caught up in the cake-slinging confetti madness. Hilarity further ensued when Winter Mane decided that the starchy and overly Teutonic Tyrael had to be a member of Princess Celestia's Secret Police sent to watch him. He tried to escape with Pepper Sprint in tow (“saving her from Secret Police Pony!”) but was blocked as Rainbow Dash dropped Forest Moon off on the top of the moving train. Things got steadily more chaotic until the train pulled into Ponyville and Winter tried to flee Tyrael dragging Pepper along. Big, silly battle in the town square till Applejack, Twilight and Fluttershy got everyone restrained in magical bubbles and rolled them to the Library. Pepper was reading a book she had borrowed from Forest, who had found it among the ruins of the ancient city; it turned out that it was the field notes of Derring Do, who was tracking down a legend of an evil Temple of Shadows. As everyone got settled, Pinky showed up with Derring Do's old luggage that had come through the gate with Forest Moon. Inside among the various artifacts was a glowing green egg holding a REALLY EVIL embryonic shape.

At that point, things got serious. Triggered by Tyrael's prodding, a Changeling broke out of the egg and tried to possess Tyrael. It then tried to take over the rest of the party. Twilight attempted to restrain it, while Forest Moon and Pepper helped. Eventually, Pepper realized that the Changeling was trying to focus on one mind and take that shape—she called Pinky Pie in, and the Pink One totally confused to to death by bombarding it with conflicting requests (“Oh! Oh! Do Discord! Now Celestia! Now me!”). It blew up, but the ensuing wave of PURE EVIL summoned the Princesses, who recognized the entity as an Ancient Threat to Equestria. Now our heroes are becoming the nucleus of a new Elemental Team (Bravery, Purity, Wisdom, Honesty) although they don't know that yet.

Overall, everyone had a great time! YOUR rules worked out pretty well, but midway I ditched the existing resolution system (too complex for speedy play IMHO) and went to a modified TFOS system using the same stats. Resolution also has some problems dealing with PVP situations and is really a bear for multiple axis combats. But the game went great and no one's ever going to laugh at a game with pink ponies ever again (LOL).

Wow! Sounds like everypony had a bucking great time!


Following up on this, we exchanged a series of FB messages where he said the following:

1) He used the Italian Opening of the show in order to get players into the mood. I think it has a very anime-ish sound:



2) "I knew we were on the right track when my pony hating son said, "you know, I just realized that Ponyville is a border town like in Skyrim..." then asked to join the game."

3) He's going to get back to me on suggested rules changes, as he's waiting for player feedback. If I like these suggestions I'm going to incorporate them into Version 3 of UP:FiA.

4) "Right now, I'd say my players would kill me if I didn't run again. Both my wife and son were impressed, and they've been playing for years."


So in conclusion...


AN ACTUAL FAMOUS GAME DESIGNER PLAYED MY GAME AND LOVES IT AND THINKS I HAVE REAL TALENT AT THIS!

This is my OMGWTFBBQ Happy Face.

Unknown Ponies: Derpin'

For my thousandth post, I give you nerdcore Brony rap from MC Chris:

Lyrics (cut and paste, and too much of a pain to edit):

you can't tell me what toys I can play with
you can't tell me not to grow my crops
you can't tell me which sex i can marry
its so scary the weird way that you watch

straight out of ponyville
motherfucker name twilight
don't call her belle
sweetie bell raise hell and beat you in barfight

she's unicorn
horn got the force move shit around and teleport
but she's a pony
that's a horse that will but of course cavort for sport

like spike on rarity clydesdale clarity
there's the horse that I hunger for
fluttershy got those butter thighs
bumblesweet but with a little bit of mumblecore

pinkemena is mean motherfucker
pullin pranks with rainbowdash
they don't give a fuck if your shit's fucked up
they gonna fall back and laugh

you can't tell me what toys i can play with
you can't tell me not to grow my crops
you can't tell me which sex i can marry
its so scary the weird way that you watch

you know the type
make you think about suicide they're so super hype
then you know that pinkie pie so freakafied
whatever sweets inside won't suffice

(beat) dash is lass with the rainbow mane
pass so fast make you lose your cool
she's a mine detector a cloud collector
when's the last time you heard a rainbow boom

everytime somebody rocks a rainbow
like R2 or lucky charms
they gotta get all aggro back in the backroom
make sure nobody doin any harm

bunch of baloney just a bunch of ponies
save that horseshit for your barn
the only danger in this manger
is finding friendship on the farm

you can't tell me what toys i can play with
you can't tell me not to grow my crops
you can't tell me which sex i can marry
it's so scary the weird way that you watch

don't talk smack unless they force you
if it's applejack you might taste her horseshoe
help her with the harvest if she requests it,
her heart is the part that is heavily invested

herd not a pack with some stand back dramatics,
don't panic when they stampede through the static
u heard that it's wack heard friendship is magic
better than back in the paddock

some ponies know their cutie marks
and some must crusade
some people know their role in life,
and some others must wait
I love my little pony
my little pony is great
i wish that people were ponies
then life wouldn't be lame

you can't tell me what toys i can play with
you can't tell me not to grow my crops
you can't tell me which sex i can marry
it's so scary the weird way that you watch

I thought the doom metal outro was a nice frisson of cognitive dissonance. Hat tip to Scumfuck for the link, and that's a phrase I never thought I'd ever say...

Now I bet you guys thought that was the big special 1000th post, right? You're wrong. You're SO wrong. That was the just aperitif. 

THIS is the main course:

 

Derpy Hooves statted up for Unknown Ponies.

 

PDF version here.

And just in case you are one of the small-minded people who are offended by the word "derp," you are cordially invited to view this video containing rebuttal by someone who was in special education classes during school.

Unknown Ponies: Second Update

Just to keep you guys in the loop, there has been huge interest in this game and I have been deluged with emails. If I haven't replied to you, I apologize. Your email probably got read, tossed into the "reply when I have a moment" pile, and then forgotten. If you're waiting to hear back from me, it would be best if you sent me another mail to remind me. :)

As of this moment, I have 9 character sheets sitting in my email. Please recall that I said I won't run more than 6 players at a time. If you end up not getting picked to play, you have my sincere apologies and a promise that you'll get to play next time.

If you haven't sent in your character sheet yet -- well, there's nothing stopping you, but please realize that there are no guaranteed spots.

I have received the following characters:

1. Jack's Knight (Bobby Fisher)
2. Sproutling (Kosetsu)
3. Blackfire (Chase Gross)
4. Dusk Breeze (Ken Peterson)
5. Meridian Vervain (Roscoe Bower)
6. Chronicle (Dan Lewis)
7. Wild Mane (Alex Horton)
8. Nightsky Star (Adam Dickstein)
9. Scarlet Shimmer (Jennifer Paradis)

If you've sent in a character NOT listed here, then please re-send it because your email may have gotten eaten by a spam filter or something.

The game will start when I have 6 players. No, I am not reserving spots for even my long-time players. I said first come, first served, and I meant it. 

Finally, it would be a HUGE help to me if you guys would take your pony pictures and make them your Skype avatar for the day. It will help with characterization during the game. Also, I suck at remembering names.

Thanks!

Character sheets!

As promised, here are the official Unknown Ponies character sheets!

First up, we have a crisp clean PDF from the man who draws makes writes Friendship is Dragons, the one and only Newbiespud!

But if you're in the mood for something a bit more interactive, then you can also use the form-fillable (but sadly, not savable) PDF from Uncanny 474 (the Element of Unemployment). It even comes with the starting skills already written in!

(No picture because I don't have an image of it.)

In a perfect world I'd find a way to combine the two of them. Maybe someday.... .

Update on Sunday's Unknown Ponies Game

Wow, I've gotten a huge response to this! In fact, I have more potential players than I can reasonably run at any one time. So let me give some critical information to interested parties:

Due to the massive interest in this game, I am not taking reservations, Participation will be on a first-come, first-served basis, assuming you have a character that's ready to go.

What you need is the following:

• A Skype account that has friended me, so that I can invite you to play
• A working microphone for same  (this game will not use video)
• A character sheet for a Blank Flank pony, emailed to me
• Your own copy of the rules & character sheet
• Pencil & two 10 sided dice

In addition, while not strictly necessary, a portrait of your character made using General Zoi's pony generator will earn you an in-game benefit.


Other than that, show up ready to have fun! I hate having to say this, but "ready to have fun" means:

• Don't be a jerk.
• Realize this is supposed to be a fun, lighthearted adventure, not a grimdark dungeon crawl.
• If you're too shy or socially awkward to role-play a cartoon pony over a microphone, this is not the game for you.

I am in the process of making a blank character sheet, as well as posting "sample pony characters" as helpful examples. I'd like to have those up today, but I don't know if that's possible. 

Finally, I make NO PROMISES WHATSOEVER, but I might -- maybe, might, it could happen but it could just as easily not happen -- be able to run an earlier session from 1-5 pm Eastern. I will have to check my schedule.

Call for Players: Unknown Ponies one-shot adventure

This coming Sunday, March 25, I will be running a game of Unknown Ponies for approximately 3-6 players. The game will run from approximately 8pm - midnight Eastern time. If you are interested in playing, please contact me to reserve a spot and, if necessary, help you with character creation.

All of my Unknown Ponies resources may be found here.

Unknown Ponies: Zebra Alchemy

Zebras are just Ponies from a faraway land. While they look exotic and have unusual methods of speaking (usually in rhyme), they are functionally no different from other Earth Ponies. They do however have one skill unique to their people: Alchemy, the study of potions both magical and mundane.

Alchemy is a Mind skill which only Zebras may possess during character generation. However, anypony may learn to use it, provided they have a teacher.

Just like any sort of magic, Alchemy comes with its own strange set of rules. Take it away, Zecora!

So you wish to have a notion
How to mix up zebra potion?

Gathering up potion ingredients
Is never simple nor expedient.

Your potion only affects life;
Not rock, nor dirt, nor carving knife.

If you meddle in ponies' feelings,
You do not know with what you're dealing!

When Ponymaster hears your song
She might just say "It's much too strong."

As you describe your potion's effect
Every rhyme you must not neglect!

So you must be the potion's master
Or careless rhyme will cause disaster.


Slightly Crunchier Rules
The rules for potions are actually pretty simple:

1. Decide what the potion will do. As stated above, it only affects living things. The best way to describe its abilities is to say that alchemy cannot change a thing's nature: if it was a pony when it started, then you can't change into a non-pony. However, you can take what a pony is and take that, for good or for ill, further than it could naturally go on its own. As a curse-breaker, alchemy can look at a thing's true nature and change that thing back into what it was. 
2. Based on this description, the PM decides whether this potion is Minor, Significant, or Major. Minor potions are just that: perhaps they change the color of a pony's mane, or create fireworks, or soothe a sore throat. Significant potions are more powerful, transformative or curative in nature. (Most of Zecora's potions within the show are Significant.) Major potions are just that: if it makes the PM say "Whoah," then it's likely Major. 
3. The ponies must gather ingredients. For Minor potions, it's as simple as going to the market, or perhaps rooting around in a garden -- something which can be accomplished quickly and easily. Significant potions are much rarer, and require a side-quest or mini-adventure to achieve -- perhaps a rare herb that grows in only one corner of the Everfree Forest. This should take approximately one Act to complete. (Example: the "Love Poison" from Hearts and Hooves Day.) Major potions are the stuff of legend, and require a quest just to themselves to complete. 
4. Make a rhyming couplet that describes what the potion does. Yes, it has to rhyme -- and scan.. If it doesn't, the potion will fail. The exact results are up to the Ponymaster, but a slight mis-rhyme (such as "orange" and "porridge") will likely only have small or cosmetic side-effects. However, terrible rhymes, broken meter, or attitude such as "I don't want to make a stupid rhyme, just let me roll the dice" will result in hilarious, epic failure of the sort that would make even the Cutie Mark Crusaders look highly competent. 
5. Now it's time to roll. Don't fail. Consider spending a Magic point.
6. The Ponymaster now considers is then free to twist the wording like a Genie's wish. Naturally, the more carefully worded the rhyme, or the better the roll, the more likely it is to work. Also, more moderate wishes ("I want nice hair") are much more likely to succeed than greedy or outlandish ones ("I want to have pegasus wings and a unicorn horn!"). Take full advantage of unintended consequences, especially if the potion changes free will or emotional states.
7. Watch as hijinks ensue.

Sometimes I wonder

... what the various subscribers to this blog think when they come upon its varied and contradictory output.

The bronies who subscribed after my weeks-long opus on My Little Pony were probably shocked  and horrified to discover that I like to own and shoot guns.

Gunbloggers, on the other hand, probably (quite literally) wondered "What is this happy horse shit?" upon seeing that a fellow shooter also enjoys magical talking pastel cartoon ponies.

The role-players are probably taking sides with one of the above groups, and the creative-writing people are sitting in a corner smoking cigarettes and muttering about when I'm going to put out more Curse/Or.  The only people I think I please on a consistent basis are the Discordians.

Fear, confusion, and annoyance. My work here is done.  ;)

Unknown Ponies Page

Unknown Ponies: Failure is Awesome now has its own page on this blog. Hopefully this will make finding links to the darn thing easier!

By the way, if you'd like to contribute to development of UPFiA, please let me know! I need help with the following:

• Statting up NPCs (specifically the Cutie Mark Crusaders, though anypony not in the Mane 6 will do)
• Coming up with adventure seeds (or actual written adventures!)
• Rules expansions or clarifications which enhance fun and are not rules for rules' sake.

Drop me a line if you'd like to join my stable of writers.

Thanks! And remember... Stay pony, my friends.

Unknown Ponies: Kelpies

There are very strong elemental themes running throughout My Little Pony.  Earth ponies are, naturally, earth dominant, and pegasi are the sky ponies. Unicorns are related to fire in ways that are not immediately obvious: fire is energy, and energy changes things, and magic also changes things. Add that to the telling glow around a unicorn's horn when she is practicing magic, and you see the fire connection.

Oh yeah, and then there's the fact that Twilight Sparkle bursts into flame twice in Season 1:

Twilight Sparkle has evolved into Rapidash!

So that's settled, then. But what about the element of water?

With the understanding that future episodes of MLP:FiM may completely invalidate this, I present you with Kelpies*, the ponies of the sea.


Kelpies
Some times referred to as the hippocampus or aughisky, kelpies are seaponies who usually dwell in the ocean or deep inland lakes. They are a quiet and introspective people who prize the arts above all else. Preferred hobbies are singing, growing coral, or making items from seashells. Their role in the ecology of Equestria is similar to that of the pegasi: they tend to the needs of other aquatic creatures and control the waves and the tides. Unlike the pegasi, who have turned their duties into an industry, kelpies see their role as artistic in nature. They are sculptors, not manufacturers.

Kelpies receive +10% to their Soul attribute and the skills Water Control and Shape Changing (Soul).

Water Control is the ability to manipulate water in order to create or diminish waves and tides. Having this skill grants the ability to breathe underwater, to walk on the water's surface as if it were solid (even while shape changed), and to use the gallop skill to swim.

Shape Changing allows a kelpie to shift between the traditional hippocampus appearance (head and front legs of a horse, with fins instead of hooves and hair, and a seahorse tail) with that of a regular earth pony. Certain aquatic details will remain when shapeshifted, such as small fins, gills, scales, a bifurcated tail, or a mane and tail that are always dripping wet.

Picture courtesy of LizaPhoenix.com 

While this is basically a "shift between water and land" power, Kelpies who decide to make shape changing their special ability may, at the Ponymaster's discretion, perform other transformations. Changes to coloration and hair style are easy, but at higher levels (and perhaps requiring the expenditure of a Magic point) other abilities may be possible, such as: adhesive skin, sharp teeth, flight and even turning into mist. Consult with folklore for additional ideas.


* Because another name of Kelpies in folklore is Water Horse**. Trololololol!


**Fun idea that is in no way canonical: since most folklore about water horses comes from Celtic mythology, I think it would be hilarious if Kelpies spoke in Scottish, Irish, or Welsh accents. Or pirate dialect!  Arrrrr!

Pony Updates

Based on feedback from my playtest group, Unknown Ponies: Failure is Awesome has been revised to version 2.0. The link to the PDF may be found, as ever, here.

Later today (Monday) I hope to finish writing a companion piece to it -- the Ponymaster's Guide.  Inside the PMG will be additional optional rules, some thoughts on how UP:FiA is different from regular RPGs and should be played as such, and sample NPCs -- both the statted-up Mane 6 and the PCs used in  my playtest, and possibly others.

Unknown Ponies after-action report

Dear Princess Celestia, 

Last Sunday I ran a game of Unknown Ponies to beta test the blank-flank rules and "failure is awesome" mechanic. The game was awesome, which meant that I failed. :(

Well, okay, maybe it wasn't as bad as all that, but... ergh. I learned a lot from this session, which I will detail below.

I had four players for this game:

Jeff played earth pony Dabinett (it's a kind of apple, but the name left the rest of the players going "huh?" Next time I should just call him Dabby Apple and have done with it). Hailing from Appleloosa, he was spending the summer at Sweet Apple Acres to help out while Granny Smith recovered from hip surgery. He had some strange ideas about politics and was fond of spouting pro-Luna and anti-Celestia rhetoric, and could best be described as "hard-working proletarian pony."

Jennifer was the only one of this group to have previously played in my New Year's Day game (as Pinkie Pie). She played Scarlet Shimmer,  a unicorn pony with a passion for mysteries and a surprisingly violent streak, as she was the first in the party to suggest starting fires and defenestration. Apparently the shimmering scarlet is in fact a blood trail, and she is a budding psychopath in training. I'm pretty sure she is Equestria's version of this girl:

Lockheart, played by Friendship is Dragons writer Newbiespud, was in many ways the token Vulcan of the group, as he prefers rationality over emotion (his heart is locked, you see?) and was theoretically the normalizing influence on the group. Interestingly, he has a fear of zombies (zombponies, actually). He and Scarlet are good friends, which makes me think he is the Dexter to her Sylar.

Lastly, this fellow here is Nightsky Star, a pegasus astronomy enthusiast. The typical asocial science nerd, he was played by Adam "Barking Alien" Dickstein, and any resemblance to Piro from Megatokyo is purely coincidental. Adam is the only player here who isn't a fan of the show. In fact, he hasn't seen any of the episodes. Truth be told, I had to twist his arm to get him to play, citing his "I'll try any game once" quote against him until he relented.

Ironically, Adam was the downfall of my game, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. To whit:


1. Know your genre
As I have said before, My Little Pony is a fantasy RPG hiding behind pastel cartoon horses. Therefore, many D&D tropes carry over quite well, and I demonstrated that in my New Year's Day game where I basically ripped off the plot of The Sunless Garden.

However, Adam hates fantasy. He's a sci-fi kind of guy, and as the lone non-brony I felt it was my duty to make the game as accessible to him as possible, because the other three would probably have had a blast if I had them all role-play a birthday party. To that end I crafted a scenario involving Doctor Whooves , a disaster involving an Ursa Major falling from orbit, fixed points in time, and a cabal of royal unicorn astronomers called the Collegium of Educated and Rational uNicorns. (Sadly, no one got the CERN joke. At all. Dead air, in fact. Crickets.)

To cut a very long story very short: Despite all the fan love for Doctor Whooves, sci-fi does NOT work in this setting. At all. Ever. It was a complete failure.

Basically, the aesop of the adventure was "When a disaster threatens a community, the entire community should band together to face it. What an individual cannot accomplish, a group can."  Sadly, this runs completely counter to the theme of Doctor Who, which is all about "One person, in the right place and the right time, can make all the difference."  The players, realizing this was a Who adventure, started riffing off of those tropes instead of the pony tropes of cooperation and knowing when to ask for help.


2. Manage expectations
This goes hand-in-hand with the first point. Don't run a world-shattering adventure when your players are expecting birthday parties, or at the very least, make it plain what kind of behavior you expect from them.

Part of the reason they found this adventure so hard was because they didn't spend a lot of time earning points on the Friendship Track, which would have made it easier to effect critical changes in the plot. I'm not sure if this was simple unfamiliarity with the system, or poor GMing on my part, but I feel I should have been clearer and more insistent that "The more you act like traditional PCs, the harder it is. Acting like friends will earn you points that can aid in the adventure."


3. Don't set the beginning bar so high
Again, no world-ending adventures with starting PCs. (Yes, it worked fine for the Mane 6, but they already had their cutie marks by this point.)

Also, while the 1% advancement mechanic was fine, the PCs failed a lot and were becoming quite frustrated towards the end. Post-game analysis indicates that starting skills at 25% rather than 15% is preferable, as it still provides a large margin for failure while giving a decent chance for success.

This means that I will need to revisit my rules and re-jigger the numbers... sigh.


4. Play your characters, not the game
I am not accusing anyone of metagaming. What I am saying is that, the characters acted more like traditional RPG characters and less like actual ponies. (Again, probably the fault of the sci-fi influence) I wish I knew a handy way of enforcing genre. There is a carrot in the form of Friendship Points, but I need a stick as well.


In conclusion
The entire mess was pretty much a gigantic failure, and yet somehow the players managed to have a good time anyway. I think even Adam was amused, although his comment of "After this, I need to watch football to feel like a man again. And I hate football!" rubbed me the wrong way.

So, yeah. The engine itself works fine, and with the previously-mentioned modifications I think it'll be a fine game. As a social experiment, however, it failed awesomely.

Oh well. At least I gained +1% to my GM skill.

Your faithful student, 
Erin Palette

Image courtesy of Arkhein at Rather Gamey.